#like. a lot of the stuff they did just kinda fizzled away

[foxgirlinfohazard]

yknow. im actually kinda sad that droneself seems to have partially merged back with me. like. it was actually quite nice not being alone and having someone so positive always there in the back of my mind. now that theyre part of "me" again its just not the same like.negative shits just so Much that even that combined positivity of droneself is just overwhelmed when theyre part of my personality instead of their own. like. i only definitely had them there for like 2 days but i miss them so much

[sage-is-in-fact-very-tired]

here's you silly chronic pain (or related things) post about one icarus morningstar because i have one braincell -

their legs hurt a lot; like it's pretty much a constant thing, usally one hurts a lot more than the other - I think probably their right one. I think this one is most because of how they fell so much during the resets - while they might been reset I think it definitely still left a pretty bad mark on their body. this is also made so much worse whenever they walk for extended periods (like . being in the Worldport. and pacing. you know.)

they are. so bad at stairs. his ass is so so bad at stairs. he tries his best but also. (relating this back to my fic - there's a reason Centross says he can walk them down to Isla's door! and there's also a reason for the railing comment! they rely on either him, or a railing to keep them from falling as they try to go down the stairs. walking normally is fine bar the pain, but stairs are in fact their worst enemy /silly)

shaky hands . they get tremors. as a treat. their hands are also like- so bad at picking up on certain touches cause of all their scars. (They can also get really tender and stiff - thankfully they have a boyfriend's hand to hold that makes that all (somewhat) better <3) also they hurt sometimes because. guys that so many scars and also a lot of scars on joints like there is no way it *doesn't* hurt sometimes. also also enderian fucking with their mind and that by proxy messing with their hands and stuff (I feel like they also get really bad brain fog sometimes because of corruption but . that's fizzled out after centross died and now it's mostly just a lot of disassociating)

I also think their back scar(s) hurts a lot/often - especially during like the end of summer fall kinda months. when they get their wings back after quixis it honestly gets better on terms of it (mostly because they're less focused on the pain)

also also chronic fatigue and just constantly being exhausted. like definitely after centross' death but *especially* after coming home from being Quixis. they kinda just struggle through it, getting up and doing things but they're pretty tired practically the whole day unless they're really excited about it. (They have been known to sleep for days at a time both before and after and event if it is particularly big, gotta get that rest in.)

I think the lightning doesn't cause constant pain but it does give them some bad flare-ups and spasms periodically

the wack . oh the portal . okay so ; eye definitely hurts sometimes - which in my opinion is probably more psychological than it is an actual pain ; portal wise - I do think fenris did leave a scar under the portal, but like. ic wasn't aware of it until coming back from being quixis, and while I don't think that one gives them issues, I do think the portal left an effect on their breathing. Kinda like the sculk but to a lesser degree, and also *mostly* psychological - Icarus is very careful about how they breathe after the portal goes away because they don't want it to hurt again. they can take mostly full breaths but it's not like. complete.

anyway . im so normal about them

[casually-eat-my-soul]

on the stilinskis’ being polish I do think Claudia was the one who brought in the culture and the language, I very much see the Sheriff as someone whose parents when they immigrated tried their hardest to fit in and as a result became very americanized so he didn’t really know anything, that or he’s maybe third/fourth generation and it kinda fizzled out and got lost as the years progressed

I honestly see Stiles as having the ‘no sabo’ kid effect in which he can understand polish but not speak it in a put together way, like it’s very choppy and while he can get his point across in a vague sense he wouldn’t be able to carry a conversation in full polish

when Claudia dies so did all the polish traditions & anything relating to it in general, grief made it hard to keep being involved when they’re being reminded she’s not there every time, I have a headcanon that sometimes when Stiles misses her he takes to listening to polish songs and that kinda keeps his understanding through the years

(sorry I have lots of thoughts on this)

EXACTLY!!! dude don’t apologize I love these thoughts and everyone need to see them.

Idk you’re just so right about after Claudia dies she takes all the polish tradtions with her. I’m getting so sad over stiles missing these traditions but after Claudia dies he can’t continue them. His tongue feels heavy when he tries to speak polish, he throws up one night after making his mother favourite polish food.

I always just pictured the Stilinski’s putting away all her stuff in the attic or something and when stiles misses her, he spend his time there looking through her things. I do agree with the fact that Claudia bought the culture while the sheriff was a 3/4 gen kid. To me Claudia would have loved to teach stiles all about her culture and would have been super proud. She refused to call stiles anything but his full name and he loved that his mother had a special name for him.

I love the headcannon of listening to polish music, if I may add he finds a band with a prominent women vocalist and pretends his mother singing to him.

Idk I just love the Stilinski angst, you can fit soo much sadness in these bad boys.

[ratstuckinamarble]

I think the narrative problem with Clawd is he's mostly just.... there. Background characters get more wants and quirks than he has so far. That won't be a problem if you really like his design or the way he's acted, but for the people who aren't innately sold on the aesthetics and acting, it really doesn't give much to grab on to. We've had shots of Ghoulia playing viddy games with Frankie and Lagoona, Manny's been around whenever there's academics or book learning involved, heck even Heath and Spectra get enough one off lines to hint at interesting things about them and their families. Clawd though... he had that bout of being over-bro-tective... he... has been separated from his mom but isn't given a plot about pushing harder to get her back, or even standing in the way of the plan, out of fear for Clawdeen... he's new to school but Frankie's new to being ALIVE so it's hard to really make that a new interesting plot point... I've never MINDED him, still, I can't say I was ever excited to see him. Goobert being on screen got me cheering. You'd think it'd be hard not to make Clawdeen's second born but technically older long lost monster pest hunting brother an unexciting thing. So when he and Draculaura are given a pair of crushes on each other, outside of the meta appeal, it's just... meh?

(Especially compared to Clankie and how Deuce was handled- the slow hint dropping, the many hang outs and scenes together, shared personality traits they bond over, clear acts of caring and interest on both sides, Frankie and Deuce being good buddies completely separate of Cleo, the three of them getting an ep together just to SHOW how Cleo and Deuce are happily broken up and Frankie's blushing like crazy over Cleo...)

But who knows. Maybe Clawd and Draculaura will get a enough good moments going forward to smooth things over. It's not like the Monster High Generation 3 writers aren't GOOD at writing, obviously. Maybe they just focused on other stuff and this is the casualty of that. It could get better. Right?

You've made some really interesting points. Now that you say it, it really doesn't feel like he has much of a goal. While Clawdeen is constantly doing her all to get their mom back, he's mostly busy adjusting to the world, but like you said, that's already Frankie's thing.

And I've always found it strange that he isn't more upset to be separated from everyone he knew in Beheme. He's in a stressful situation! So why don't we really see him struggle? His cheery demeanor is sweet, but it's hard to buy that he'd never have his moody moments with how harsh we're supposed to believe Beheme was, and him getting separated from his mother and presumably other people. Wouldn't he worry about them not knowing what happened to him? Why do we never see that?

Something that also strikes me as odd is very much him "just being there". Because it always feels that way, despite him being someone from another dimension! But that's kinda it...? Why doesn't he get to have traits that truly make him stand out? It's a shame really, I remember being rather intrigued when he was first introduced, but that excitement fizzled away. When I think about it, I can list some traits and whatnot, but he fades into the background compared to how other characters grab your attention.

And comparing Clawd/Draculaura to other ships, they did get some level of build up, not in terms of crushing on each other (I'm hoping the show will let us know why they like each other), but we have seen them interact before this several times. But we don't know why they're friends aside from "he's Clawdeen's brother so they're in each other's vicinity". (This is actually an issue I have in general though, us not getting to see how a lot of friendships we know to be fairly recent started.) I wish a lot of the scenes they had together didn't feel so awkward. Please just make them caring about each other believable.

I am hoping to grow more fond of Clawd and less annoyed with this ship, maybe it is just a consequence of other aspects being prioritised until now. I do know the writers are capable of better things.

I'd also like to use this opportunity to clarify: I don't hate Clawd. I just think he's boring, which is doing him a disservice because I know he has the potential to be much more.

There's more I could say, but this is getting quite long. Thank you for your input anon, I appreciate how you looked for reasons he feels off to some of us. It certainly helped me collect my thoughts a little better.

[coffee-at-annies]

Oh! For the mash-up trope ask- 53 and 70 for The Core?

53+70: Mutual Pining+Locked in a Room 

Yes yes yes! Good. Excellent. Love it.

Gonna do a quick scaffold then see how excited the muse gets for actual writing.

So the boys are locked in a room. It’s big enough for the three of them but it’s definitely like a walk in closet or a trainers office. This is during training camp. One of the rookies/new guys thought it would be funny. None of the core are laughing.

Sid keeps banging on the door hoping someone will hear him. Kris has already tried texting for help but he’s got no cell service and something is wrong with his phone’s WiFi. Geno, is glaring at the wall in a corner. Eventually someone is gonna have to walk by and realize they’re in there. Or it’ll hit skate time, video review, or some other meeting, and people will notice they’re missing. The person will have to tell someone and he’ll have to let them out. They won’t be locked in here forever.

In the meantime, they’re locked in a room. Kris is annoyed because they should have locked Sid and Geno in a room together years ago (trust him, he and Flower discussed it) so they’d get over their pining, but why’d it have to include him? Kris is under the impression Sid and Geno got together after the 16-17 cups. They did. It didn’t work out.

Sid and Geno dated briefly during the 17-18 season, broke up sometime fall of 18, and have been on-again-off-again sometimes partners sometimes fuckbuddies ever since. They can’t stay away from each other but every time they give the relationship a shot it fizzles after a couple months. They’ve never lasted over a summer and it’s hard. They were in an off period during Geno’s contract negotiations which added a lot of stress. They do love each other and miss each other when they’re not together, hence the mutual pining on their end, but they haven’t figured out how to make it work in a way that sticks.

It’s been a longer than usual off season and they both missed each other terribly. Neither of them wants to suggest getting back together just yet because I do think it ended badly in the spring but the summer apart soothed their hurts and stirred up the pining so they’re back to missing each other. Both of them are trying very hard not to think about how that conversation is on the horizon, especially since they’re locked in a room with their close friend who they’ve never officially told they’re dating.

Fun fact about these two, they’re also both interested in Kris, which Kris doesn’t know. Idk if Sid and Geno have talked to each about their mutual attraction to Kris but it’s there, and it makes the feelings conversation harder.

Kris now, he kinda fell in love with both of them at different points in the last couple years. Between Flower and Duper leaving, stepping up into the alternate captain role, everything about the pandemic and the stuff after, he just ended up spending a lot of time with them organically and feelings started blossoming on his end. He’s not gonna act on it with his two friends that are together.

The time they spent is why he thinks they’re together. They never explained the breakups or makeups or any of the complicated relationship drama. They’ve never even told him they were together, Tanger just knows them well enough to pick up on it and what they stopped hiding.

Having said all of that I have no idea how this fic actually resolves. It’s been a hot minute since my brain wanted to juggle dialogue and I really should stretch myself to write it but it’s midnight and it’s a school night. I have to be up at 8am to go into work.

Sid bangs on the door. Geno snipes at him about it. Sid turns around to yell at him cause calling for help isn’t working. I think they go back and forth for a while and then Tanger makes a joke about getting a room or seven minutes in heaven in an attempt to diffuse the tension and accidentally gets both of them staring at him. They admit they’re not together. Tanger doesn’t know how to react to that. I’m not sure how the convo gets to the feelings admission. Maybe Tanger asks what happened and they have to explain?

I think during the convo Sid admits that even when they’re off he’s not seeing or sleeping with anyone. The one time he tried to hookup he just ended up missing Geno. Geno probably echos the same. It’s cute. Maybe the couple is back together. Maybe they even kiss. Idk.

I’m unclear how we get to Tanger confessing. Does he mumble something about wishing he could have been that rebound hookup that didn’t go anywhere? Does he say something about how he thought they were together so he never said anything? Does Sid try and echo his joke about getting a room and Tanger admits that he doesn’t hate it since it’s them. Idk. Somewhere in there Tanger admits his feelings, maybe before getting Sid and Geno back together, maybe after.

Either way both Sid and Geno are like wait you like me/us? Tanger wants them to forget it but when has Sid ever forgotten a thing once he’s set his eyes on it? When has Geno taken his eyes off the puck? Anyway I think they lock eyes and decide they’re seducing him, which they do. There’s maybe love/feelings confessions in there but there’s also a bunch of kissing and maybe some blow jobs so Kris can see how much they care for him as well. It’s a good moment. Geno suggests that maybe the reason him and Sid never worked out is because they didn’t have Kris. It’s the three of them on the ice, maybe they need the three of them off the ice to work too. Sid likes that very much and Kris just had an orgasm so he’s feeling pretty agreeable.

It’s still not until an hour after that that they get let out of the room. They have time to negotiate and plan their relationship. Also cuddles (geno gets cuddly after orgasms, not that he’d admit it).

[shzmluvrs]

Wait what if the reader an Billy are bffs (even tho they hav feelings for each other) but the reader starts dating a rly shty dude an Billy try’s to get them out of the relationship seeing how he’s treating them (can u do a fem reader ik u do fem readers a lot but I kinda selfish ig so pretty pls 🥺)

YES MORE HURT/COMFORT, OMG!!! *foams at the mouth👹💕*

Also, fun coincidence, I had another person with nearly the exact same request...

So it's cool that this now basically gets to be a two-in-one🤧🤞🏽.

AHH! Also, I wanna shout out @vivi-iiis-blog for always reposting my writing and Moon's collages bc it makes me feel all warm n stuff inside that y'all are really out here enjoying Moon and I's content, like 😻✨️🫶🏽!!!

~ Star✨️

All I Wanted Was You

Or, alternatively...

Stars and Hearts

Prompt: He couldn't be upset with you for being in love. Well, at least, what you thought was being in love. All he knew to do was to be there for you, no matter what. Even when you got hurt. But you'd better believe that he'd make sure something like that would never happen again. Not on his own accord.

Timeline: Post S!:FOTG

TW/Content: Angst⚡️Hurt/Comfort⚡️Cheating⚡️Arguing⚡️Reader being mentally drained⚡️Talk of manipulation/Manipulation tactics⚡️Cursing⚡️Alcohol/Drug use mentioned⚡️Slightly oblivious reader⚡️Billy being the best, as per usual⚡️Comic Relief Freddy, Big Sister Anthea energy on lock fr🤞🏽

Reader: Fem! She/Her/Hers Pronouns! (possibly) Bimbo-Coded ?? (but not full-on bimbo, if that makes sense)!

Requested By: Anon and @bansheecries

Back to Master List

"You did what?! "

       "I said 'yes'!" You exclaimed gleefully, ignoring how incredulous Billy's shout came out. "And we had a great time!"

"Oh, god, (Y/N)..."

It was his groan and eyeroll you couldn't bypass, watching as he shoved his hands into his pockets and continued to kick at the rock he had been rolling down the sidewalk the whole way home from school. You pouted a little, unsatisfied with such a lackluster reaction.

       "What? C'mon, he was really sweet and kind..." You praised, remembering how your latest romantic interest had treated you on your date. Your first date, no less, attempting to convince Billy of the legitness of it all until your voice dipped into playful sarcasm, nudging him with your elbow.

       "Not at all judgy and sarcastic like someone I know."

"Harhar..."

       "I think..." You sighed to yourself, unsure if you had even wanted to speak this thought aloud. But, you had already begun, no choice left to commit. Besides, Billy was your best friend. It was only natural that you told him everything.

       "I think he might actually be it, y'know? Like, I know that's-... That this is corny sounding, but I think he could be...'the one'."

       "What?!" Billy exclaimed once more, turning his wide-eyed gaze towards you for maybe a split second before closing his eyes and shaking his head in denial.

      "Absolutely not, no, that's crazy, you're crazy."

       "Crazy in looove~..." You hummed, suddenly reminding yourself of a certain Beyoncé track, not hesitating to spout out the lyrics as Billy tried his best to break your rose-tinted glasses and heart-shaped thoughts.

       "This is definitely just a fling or something..."

       "Got me lookin' so crazy right now, ya' love's got me lookin' so crazy right now~...!" You waved your hand in front of his face, Billy quick to push it away while he went on.

       "Plus...! Plus, you barely even know the guy. You met him two days ago. Two! And-and you're already going on dates with him?"

       "Got me lookin' so crazy right now, ya' touch got me lookin' so crazy right now~...!" You caressed his cheek with your knuckles dramatically, trailing them down until you were cupping his chin. And though he knew he was probably glowing red just from the careless act, it quickly fizzled out when he remembered you were still not seeing things the way he was. Seeing things clearly, if you asked him.

       "And just like that, you've suddenly decided to be his girlfriend? Don't you think you're moving too fast? I mean-"

       "-Got me hopin' you'll page me right now, your kiss got me hopin' you'll save me right now~...!" You danced around lightly, giving your best attempt at choreography while you sung, hardly taking notice of Billy's deadpan.

       "Dude, are you even listening...?"

       "Listening to you harsh the flow? Yeah, I am." You commented quickly before going on. "Lookin' so crazy, your loves got me lookin', lookin' so crazy in love~...!"

       "Hey- Okay, seriously. Stop."

       He took you by the shoulders, forcing eye contact and stopping your singing abruptly in hopes he'd make you understand where he was coming from.

       ". . ."

       "Look, I just..." He began, already searching your eyes for a tinge of regret in your choices.

       "I just think-..."

       And when he found none, anything left being a curious gaze up into his own green eyes with all of the hope in the world for his support, he let a sigh escape between his lips. He softened his stare and his hold on your shoulders.

       "I just... want you to be happy." A smile broke on your face at his words. "But also, be careful, okay? Please? Guys are... can be assholes, sometimes."

       "Yeah, no, I've got mega experience in that department." You quipped, nudging into him once more. "Being friends with you for three years has its learning perks."

       "Seriously." He reiterated his previous point with one word, hoping it would get through to your head as you nodded quickly and huffed.

       "Yes, Billy, I will be as careful as possible." And finally, he allowed a smile to tug at his own lips. You shrugged.

       "I mean, it's just my first serious boyfriend. How bad could it be?"

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

Billy didn't know whether you had jinxed yourself or if it was mere coincidence, but to say things were going bad would be the understatement of the century.

The boy, as long as he'd known you, had always admired your tastes. Your sense of style, any "weird" physical and vocal quirks you might've had, and often tried his best to partake in your favorite interests. So, it was certainly a surprise to him when you had been rejecting all of those things, which eventually morphed into simply ghosting him whenever he'd try and get you to indulge.

But, he also had to assume you were happy. Content enough to reject all of those things, satisfied enough not to want to leave the relationship you had gotten yourself into. And at first, he had went to Freddy and Anthea about it all, asking them about things that at first seemed a little personal, but then left them quick to realize it was in hopes to ease his worries for you.

Once their advice had been given, expressing that maybe it was for the best that you two take some time apart to explore your interests in other people and that it hadn't meant you were going to leave him in the dust like others had in the past, he did as such. Though it was hard to hear and accept at first, he was doing surprisingly well on his own once again, especially with the support of his family (plus Anthea) to back him up.

It was today, a random, fall school day, that you two had reconnected for the first time in the couple of weeks. And of course, at first, Billy was ecstatic to see you. Be in your presence, chat with you about whatever came to mind first, let the inside jokes that accumulated over time relay back and forth between the two of you...

Not that he'd be able to easily express any of that, past experiences making it quite the task for him to be as open as he wished. But he tried to be and enjoyed doing so, which was all that mattered. Besides you, of course, who mattered very deeply to him, no matter what.

Which was exactly why he was taken aback by the odd silence. You hadn't spoken a word after your initial, uncharacteristically timid greeting, almost as if you expected him to carry the entire conversation. He and Freddy had been doing so for the entire walk around the campus, lunch really the only time you three had ever shared together within school hours, and now, ever at all given your new... boyfriend.

And whenever he'd make attempts to prompt the conversation to continue with any rambles you might've wanted to add, all he would receive was a curt response or a seemingly entertained laugh or gesture. Even with Freddy rambling on in your place, both brothers having been eager to catch up with you, it was clear neither of them would be getting you to fully engage without prying.

Something they were trying to avoid doing but soon realized might be their only way to get you to open up.

"Are you okay?" Billy finally asked, leaving you to whip your head towards him in surprise.

"Yeah?" You answered, almost as if it were a question, because why wouldn't you be?

"No, I mean, like..." There was a pause, Billy trying to gather the proper way to convey his concern. But, you had already realized what he meant, your body language shifting from that of confusion to sureness. Even if it was forced.

"I'm fine." And though you chuckled through your teeth and allowed your eyes to linger towards the floor rather than his own, you upheld your front, no matter the rearranging of his wording.

"I'm just saying, like... I don't know, you just feel off, y'know? Just wanna be sure everything's good between us."

No matter the sincerity of his tone.

"Why wouldn't they be?" You questioned, attempting to keep things light and nonchalant. Hoping he wouldn't press any further.

"We barely talk, it feels like."

"We're literally talking right now, though."

"That's..." He sighed. "Not what I mean."

It was a sigh that unknowingly prompted vexation within you. Not for any particular reason. At least, not one you could place or justify. All the more incentive to push them away further while he continued.

"Plus, you're acting different, too."

"I'm really not..."

"You are, actually." Freddy agreed, quick to spare more examples of your recent change in persona. "You're way more quiet than you used to be, you don't dress how you used to... We all hardly hang out anymore, either."

"I...don't know what you're talking about, okay?" You huffed, subconsciously distancing yourself from the two boys as you walked. "I've just been with my boyfriend. What's so wrong about that?"

"Nothing, if he wasn't literally changing everything about you." Billy grumbled, no intention to truly sass-mouth you. But, it was too late to take it back upon realizing you had heard.

"Who says?" You challenged, your tone dipping into the irriation you were so valiantly holding back.

"What?"

"Who says it's what he wants? Maybe I like being this way. Have you ever thought about that?"

"That isn't true." Billy denied, shaking his head in dismay at your claims. This only frustrated you more, though you still couldn't place why. Never had you been so quick to defensive behavior when it came to your best friends, and especially Billy. They were too understanding to ever need to do so.

But his words had triggered you in a way that they shouldn't have, targeting something deep within that made you question the things you had already grown so sure about.

So instead, you projected further.

"And you're just gonna tell me that?" You scoffed as if you were mimicking amusement before continuing. "I'm perfectly fine and happy, and just because I'm not spending every waking second with you or because I wanna make some changes for myself for the better doesn't mean-"

"-I say it's not true because that's clearly just him talking." Billy cut in before you could conclude your harsh rant. "The (Y/N) I know wouldn't have ever changed herself after getting to know someone or do things she thinks will make others feel good about themselves. You deserve to do what you want and be whatever makes you happy. So yeah, sorry if I miss the old (Y/N) more than whoever this is now..."

Your lips formed a stubborn pout, word vomit coming up and out of your throat with immediate regret once they were said.

"And how do you know I didn't change myself for you? Are you saying you don't like me anymore just 'cause I've finally met someone who wants what's best for me, not for me to be someone they think I am?"

"Oh my god, this is annoying..." Billy murmured with the shake of his head and the roll of his eyes. And while sure, he was just addressing the situation, or maybe just the conversation, that's not at all how you heard it.

"...You think I'm annoying?"

"What?!" He exclaimed, almost laughing at such a wild suggestion, but quickly began to panic when he saw the tears well up on your waterline.

"No! No, no, I-..."

"Is this guy bothering you...?"

You almost jumped at the feeling of an arm snaking around your waist, but upon looking up to see the familiar face of your new love, your pout dropped into a frown.

"Not anymore." You clarified. "If I'm so annoying, Billy, we don't have to be friends anymore. Since that's obviously what you want."

"(Y/N), wait, that's not what I meant-... It's not what I want! I just-"

"Well that's too bad, because I know what I want." And the moment your eyes trailed away from the brunette to look back at your boyfriend, going practically lovesick just being next to him, Freddy was the one to grasp onto the fact that there was no getting through to you now. At least, not like this.

They watched as the lovely couple took their leave, your solemn demeanor not the same slap to the face as your boyfriend's comforting back rubs were before he shot a glare over his shoulder right towards Billy. For a moment, he was willing to ignore it, stepping forward to go after until he felt Freddy's hand tug back at his shoulder.

"Don't, dude." He warned with the shake of her head. "He isn't worth it, and... I think you should just let her cool off."

And though it left a bitter taste in his mouth to admit it...

"...You're...okay, you're right..."

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

He ignored the two sets of brown eyes that stared at him, following his quick figure all the way to the kitchen, and then wincing at his stomps up the steps. From the way he had slammed the fridge door shut to his refusal to make eye contact with anyone (and probably for the best, his glare capable of icing anyone over) the second he walked through the door, Mary was swift to let her her mouth fall open in order to ask what was wrong.

Freddy spoke up before she could, shutting the front door as he entered.

"Don't worry about him, he's just in a mood."

Anthea's head perked up at this, moving her gaze away from Mary's strange, rectangular object that she had now been informed actually wasn't magic, but technology. A cool subject to be learning about, but it was now Billy's sudden frustration that piqued her interest. Or, more accurately, the cause.

"Why, what's the matter?"

Freddy couldn't help but snort to himself, waltzing over to quickly press a kiss to Anthea's temple before explaining.

"Doesn't like that his lovergirl is all cuddled up with some douchebag she met two weeks ago."

"Wait, you mean (Y/N)?" Mary smiled fondly at the mention of you while Anthea giggled at the odd yet teasing way he had said the word, "lovergirl." It ceased, though, when she posed a question of her own into the air.

"What's a...douchebag?"

"Mmm- Kind of like a dickwad." Freddy both unhelpfully and vulgarly informed. He was lucky his younger siblings and/or parents weren't around.

"Or like an asshole. A really mean yet dumb person. Kind of like how the Breyers are? Yknow?"

"Ohh!" Anthea gasped, gaining a sudden understanding once Freddy had reached the last bit of his explanation. "You mean an imbecile."

"Yup!" Freddy snapped and pointed with a smile. "An imbecile, exactly that. That's what she's dating."

"Wait-wait-wait, no way this is the same (Y/N) we're talking about right now." Mary half-laughed, half-scoffed. "You mean the same girl Billy was trailing around after like a lost puppy two or three summers ago? She was so sweet when they met, at least, when I met her. What happened?"

"Yea-up, that would be her." Freddy confirmed nonchalantly. "And, don't get me wrong, she still is. It didn't stop them from having a fight, though."

"What, about the boyfriend?" Mary pressed further, her nosyness for her younger brother's love life getting the best of her.

"No- Well...! Kinda? Less about him, more about them, together. Even though they're not together? I dunno, it's weird, hard to explain."

Anthea's gasp gained the both of their attention, the tan girl placing a hand to her heart in melancholy understanding.

"Ohh~! He pines for her from afar, but he cannot pursue what he's forbidden to attain. How tragic...!"

"...Uh...Yeah, basically that." Freddy shrugged.

"Well, we don't know the whole story, so who's to say she's officially unattainable? These things can be tricky, you know."

"Hmm..." Anthea nodded with a hum at Mary's words, agreeing with her statement as they pondered their next step. Freddy gave an amused 'Tch.' attention lost in his phone looking for his daily mishap that only a superhero like himself could fix.

"Yeah, good luck prying it from him."

And with that, the two girls spared each other a knowing look, one full of both mischief and wonder before shooting off of the living room couch and in the direction of Billy and Freddy's shared room. They gave soft knocks at first, Anthea the one to hesitate upon not just wanting to intrude. But when they didn't receive an answer, Mary was swift to disregard any second thoughts before bursting in.

"Oh my god, you're so emo..." She muttered after further inspection of the room, both girls greeted with the sight of Billy laid sprawled out on his back, head buried between the comfort of his pillows while music blasted through his earbuds. So loud, he hadn't even noticed their presence until he felt the edge of his mattress dip, angling his head to peer forward at the culprit.

He merely scoffed at the sight of Mary's teasing yet knowing smirk and then sent an eyeroll that led him back to his pillows at Anthea's shy wave.

"What now?" He practically huffed, expecting an order of chores from Mary or the random input on some super-work that needed to be completed, nevermind just homework.

"So, um..." Mary began gently, tucking in her lips as though she were pondering over her next set of words. "(Y/N)..."

But truth of the matter was, no matter how she'd approach it, Billy's cheeks would still flush red, and his eyes would gloss over. His hands would still jitter, and he'd still break out into a cold sweat. He'd still think about how pushy he was being and about how maybe he shouldn't have spoken so recklessly towards you.

"Oh my god... what did Freddy tell you..." He sighed, barely a question while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Only that you and (Y/N) are fated to be...!" Anthea sang with a gracious smile and placing a comforting hand on top of his own. He pulled away without a second thought, eager to remind the two of how untrue such a statement could be.

"Well, if you remember anything from what Freddy wasn't supposed to tell you, you'll know that if that were true, she wouldn't have a boyfriend right now."

"Speaking of," Mary interjected. "Freddy also mentioned how the guy she's with isn't a good fit for her. Are you sure? Or rather, is that true?"

"Why does it matter?" He sassed. "She's happy, I guess. She doesn't-. . . We don't even talk anymore, so that's it. Drop it."

"Wait, you 'guess'?" Mary indulged further. "Is the guy cool or not?"

"If he is as Freddy described, then she needs to be warned that-"

"Don't you think I've tried that...?!" Billy cut into Anthea's words, running a stressed hand over his face and through his hair. "She said she's fine and that it's what she wants. So I'm over it, it's whatever. I'm not gonna stop her from doing what she wants. She's smart, so I'm sure she'll figure out what's best for her..."

It was silent for a few moments, nothing but the sound of Billy's playlist cycling through, music bleeding out of the speakers of his earbuds until Mary ceased the knawing of her bottom lip. She had been wracking her brain for the best solution, or at the very least, some older sister wisdom she could impose on her younger brother.

"I don't blame you for wanting to give up. These kinds of things can be tricky, especially now since you've waited so long to come to terms with your feelings for her."

Though wasn't her intent, her outloud thoughts sent a wave of hopelessness crashing through him. He hadn't meant to wait. Hell, he didn't even want to recognize such feelings when they first started happening. Afraid that if he confronted them, he wouldn't even get the chance to express them to you before you were out of his life, just like the rest.

But it was obvious it didn't matter what he did, if he confronted them or not. You were basically already gone. Well, not gone...

Taken. He felt that was the more appropriate word, not that he'd tell you that for fear it would imply something else he didn't mean. Just like last time.

"You want the best for her, right?"

Once again, no initial response to her question. It urged her to insist further with a slight nudge against his shoulder.

"Don't you?"

"...Yes."

"Then, for now, you be the best most supportive friend you can be. You will be there for her when she needs you."

"And if everything we've heard about her current partner is correct, then trust us, she will." Anthea confirmed, attempting again to calmly take Billy's hand in hers. He didn't pull away this time, simply allowing her to deliver comforting squeezes until she stood to trail out of the room after Mary, leaving him back to his swirling thoughts and loud music.

He decreased the volume in order to hear his thoughts better. They left him faced to admit the fact that they were right. No matter how hard he wanted to push these foreign emotions deep down back inside, he couldn't. But he also knew it would be selfish of him to try and butt in after you had made your own feelings clear to him. Instead, he'd do as advised, doing all he could in any way. Be your best friend, just like always, and support and care for you no matter what.

Because just that was better than losing you altogether. He would make peace.

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

Friday afternoon was when he had finally gathered the strength and courage to do so. He had done as Freddy told him, giving you ample space and time on your own. Or, with your boyfriend, rather. And he had taken Mary and Anthea's words into deep consideration. It was now time to act, his eyes scanning over the large cafeteria in search of your (H/C) hair mixed amongst the rest of the student body.

Once he had found it and began to approach, he was swift to notice the change in color of the tips. A bold color that he never would've assumed you'd do, but was eager to ask about it the second he could. He thought it looked cool, a half-second distraction to your change in wardrobe as well. Surely more conservative, he noted, but at least both observations took away from the perturbed look on your face.

That was also something he was eager to question but wouldn't, for now, and simply settled on the simple and casual...

"...Hey."

Your head whipped towards him, silent at first with wide eyes until breaking out in a grin that he hadn't expected to come given your previous conversation. Almost as though you were glad it was him, a pleasant surprise.

"Hi...! I-... You're here, wow."

"Why wouldn't I be?" Billy almost chuckled at your fond gleefulness, happy to have whisked away some of that obvious stress.

"Well, I dunno." Your voice dipped back into a timid demeanor as you spoke. "I just figured... I made you upset, and that you didn't wanna be friends anymore."

"Of course I still want to be friends. I... wanna be there for you. If you need me, of course."

You perked up at this, a feeling of reassurement that hadn't recently been there returning to you. Letting your guard down.

"Really? Even after... after..."

"Yes."

You didn't have to finish, smiling to yourself instead before directing it towards him in thankful courtesy.

"So, how've you been?" You chirped, picking lightly at your fruit cup while awaiting to hear the next wild story he would relay from hearing Freddy tell it, or some troublemaking Darla had caused lately.

"Actually, I wanted to ask you that."

Both smiling, you poked your fork towards him in a teasing manner.

"I asked you first."

"But I wanna know more."

"Stubborn, as usual."

Sharing another laugh, you lied through your teeth, giving him the most basic and surface level knowledge of your recent hardships and achievements. Not on purpose. Just so that you wouldn't be immediately giving him something to worry about. Friends don't dump their problems onto the other right after making up, right?

Right.

You'd just hold off for now. Let him in to the fullest on a later date.

"What about you?" You finally inquired, the two of you now strolling through the semi-empty halls together. Truly catching up, which was nice for the time being.

"Bored, not gonna lie."

"Pfft-." Your snorted aloud at his answer, laughing more when he argued he was being serious with such an unserious tone.

"I'm just saying, like... Mary and Anne were on my case the second I got home last week. I'm just... we're just used to having you around, I guess."

"Yeah, that's my bad. I've just been so caught up lately with everything... School, and my family, and my boyfriend. Relationships are... so much more complicated than I thought."

A silence lingered between the two of you. Not an uncomfortable one, but it wasn't exactly the most peaceful, either. It was like your most inner thoughts and secrets just danced upon the tip of your tongue, while the very question that would pry them all out danced on his. Neither of you knowing, yet able to just feel it in the air. Expecting it.

"How is that going, by the way? I don't really see you guys together often, so I just figured you hang out outside of school?"

"Oh, I just had him last period, actually...!" You informed almost too swiftly, the lightest of defense in your tone.

"Oh, that's good...! Great."

Quiet. It wasn't intentional, not on anyone's end. But it was something that had somehow forced you to let him in anyway. Even if just the slightest.

"I guess so. He's been... quiet, recently. Like, doesn't really wanna talk."

"Oh? Why, what's going on?"

"He isn't like this all the time. But sometimes, things get to him, and he just takes it to heart, you know what I mean? Like, just yesterday I was texting him all last night and I was helping him through some things with his mental and like, how sometimes he feels like I'm being weird, but he's weird, too, and... bleaugh."

Towards the end, you had sensed you revealed a bit too much, able to feel Billy's green eyes mulling over you with hints of concern.

"All last night?" He confirmed with a slight emphasis on 'all.'

"Well-! Nothing I can't handle, just a couple of hours, really."

"Aren't you tired, though? I mean, it was a school night..."

"...A little. But it's not a big deal, I'm happy to help. Besides, like how you said you'd always be there for me... I'll be there for him."

"Right... I just-"

The scuffing of an additional pair of shoes against tile alerted the both of them, the conversation being cut short with a swiftness Billy hadn't seem coming or understood. Even more troubling, the way you had created a noticeable distance between the two of you, your foot awkwardly sliding to left the closer your boyfriend came.

"Hey, baby...!" He trailed, already eyeing up and down, side to side between you two the faster he got closer. He wouldn't be one to admit he had been listening in on your conversation long before either of the two of you realized he had entered the corridor, but the fact he had chosen now to, not only make his presence known...

"You just... telling people all our business now?"

...But to also add on such a sly little remark, masking it as an awkward joke, was something that made Billy narrow his eyes for mere seconds. He could sense the comfortable vibe decrease, listening to you stumble over your words in a much quieter tone than before.

"No! I-...No, we were just... catching up, basically. We were just talking and I was... I was just kinda asking-... Inviting-!... him to your...um... your party this weekend?"

"What, you mean tomorrow?" Billy clarified, having accidentally revealed both her initial lie and a new tidbit of information. The boyfriend let it slide, for now, swift to play it as cool as possible with Billy around by pulling you into his chest unexpectedly. Making a big show of fondly rubbing your shoulder up and down and spewing ample amounts of affection that would make anyone uncomfortable.

"Yeah... tomorrow." You softly answered, unable to continue eye contact with your best friend under the pressure of your boyfriend's. You couldn't exactly place or even begin to assume why, but it was a look that always made you squirm. At first, it seemed to disguise itself as lovesick nerves. But now it constantly came riddled with the extra thoughts of, 'Is my hair okay? Does my outfit look nice? I hope he likes the color I picked. The makeup isn't too much this time, right?' Etc, etc.

"I'm sure she's probably ran her mouth to you all day about it, but, you know (N/N)...!" He chuckled, gently shaking you upon mentioning you with a pet name. "Just talk-talk-talks."

"I guess..." Billy mumbled, unappreciative of the subtle implication while you internally took it to heart.

'...Do I talk too much?'

"But I totally get that it's not your scene, I mean... socializing, fun, hot drunk girls..."

'Am I not hot enough for him?'

You played with the ends of your newly dyed hair, debating on asking your boyfriend's favorite color as means for the next change.

"Actually, I happen to be free this weekend, so it's a good thing (Y/N) invited me now before she forgot."

"Really?" You asked, and though your tone hadn't meant to convey such hope, your eyes all but practically screamed it when you had finally gathered the courage to look back into his. A smile slowly made its start, but faltered upon hearing the same word leave your boyfriend's lips, tone all too different.

"Really...?"

One of skepticism, almost as if there was a betrayal taking place right in front of his own eyes. A tone that let you know you wouldn't be hearing the end of it later tonight.

"Yeah, I mean, we're basically best friends, so..." Billy didn't hesitate to make facts known and clear, all under the guise of a polite smile and a shrug.

"Where she goes, I go."

An awkward chuckle was shared.

"Well, lucky you..." Your boyfriend sighed with a compassion you knew was fake, parting with one last squeeze to your shoulder before heading towards the nearest exit of the hallway.

The pout on your lips never seems to leave after the interaction, resembling the same look of puzzlement you sported when Billy had first approached at the beginning of lunch. But now, it was the end, and here it was back again after Billy had done his best to absolve you of such worry. And, now that he was at least eighty percent sure of the direct cause, he'd go out of his way to make sure such feelings didn't increase on your boyfriend's behalf.

"Are you sure you actually wanna go?" You sighed. "I mean, he is right. I've never seen you at a party, ever."

"What, and you've been to how many...?"

You nodded. He made a fair point.

"I'm his girlfriend, though. I basically have to go so he can show me off and whatnot."

"Won't he have enough 'hot drunk girls' there already?"

You struggled to hide the grin at his sudden yet subtle compliment. Giving your boyfriend's harsh and clueless words a new meaning while nudging him with your shoulder as if it'd get rid of a feeling you hadn't felt in the last few weeks.

"Silly. I don't drink." You half-heartedly joked, a way of accepting his compliment before taking your leave as well.

"I'll text you the info, then, 'kay?"

"I'll be there."

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

Those words ran through your mind like a broken record. They had you admiring such sureness and swooning at the thought of someone... well... being there! It was this, coupled with the fact that, even after everything, Billy truly hadn't given up on you. He wasn't so hasty to let go of your friendship, and if it weren't for your-

No. No, don't think that way. It was your own doing that led to such an outburst. Your boyfriend was going through a tough time. Even now as the two of you chatted back and forth early into the Saturday evening. To place blame on him would be wrong. Almost cruel of you.

But even so, you were beginning to grow weary with the constant contact. And normally, it wasn't something you'd mind if the usual topic of conversation wasn't something so draining. Usually, the abundance of info on family matters. How his mother and father would treat him, or how his feelings were never "put first." He even had the gall to bring up yesterday, leaving you to reassure him that Billy wouldn't cause any issues.

Hogging your attention, acting like "a loner," whatever it was the boyfriend had implied...

'Ping!'

Speak of the devil, here to rid you of your swirling thoughts.

─────────────────────

Billy😼

You there?

I'm at home still

Gonna be there in a bit

Oh mkay

Omw

Btw Freddy and Anthea are coming cuz they don't wanna be "left out"🙄

Is that okay?

Yeah sure that's fine, great actually

I'll have someone to talk to

Alr bet

─────────────────────

For whatever reason, though the conversation was short and dry, it soothed your nerves, and suddenly, you weren't as high strung anymore about possible future events and conversations. It allowed you to finally put together a reasonable outfit and do your makeup, hair the last thing on the to-do list before gathering necessities into your purse/bag and heading out.

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

You were starting to wish you had packed earbuds in that little purse/bag of yours, wanting nothing more than to tune out your boyfriend's advances. Albeit a rude thought, you couldn't help but allow this one to slide considering how he was acting just as such.

And yet, you still didn't have the heart to reject the obvious signs, or at the very least, hint at the fact that his breath reeked of alcohol, which was all you needed to know in terms of why he was suddenly being so touchy-feely. Something that used to give you butterflies, now leaving you with an odd disdain with/after every rub and pinch and grasp.

"Why're you so'stiff...?" He asked (slurred, more like), running his hands across your shoulders. Without thinking, you pushed yourself further onto the bed, shrugging him away and swiftly denying his claim.

"I'm not. I just... have good posture."

"Ha-ha, babe." He tossed his head from side to side. "I'm being for real. What's the issue? Are you not relaxed? I can- We can, like, maybe lock the door or something. So no one'll walk in, y'know?"

"Why would I want the door locked?" You almost scoffed but knew better than to let any attitude slip from your person as a smirk glossed his lips subtly.

"Unless you like to play it risky, that's cool, too~."

"I don't want to play anything, I just...thought we could have a nice time together." You spoke, your voice dipping a little from the stoic demeanor to one of vulnerability as the confession flew over his head.

"We could~." He responded simply to your suggestion, having not truly taken in your words, tone, or even just body language. It took you having to snap in the slightest for him to finally understand...

"And talk. To just talk, okay? I mean, there's literally nothing you want to talk about right now? What was all of that texting about earlier that we were doing? You don't wanna talk to me about that?"

...And, as usual, he managed to take it to heart. More often and...accurately than you'd like to admit, he had managed to become the victim.

"Mncht...oh." He finally let up, sitting himself up from dipping into the bed with the click of his tongue against his teeth and turning himself away from you.

"I mean, the whole reason I threw this party was to have fun and not worry about that, so..."

"Then why bring it up?" You huffed, frustration growing in the pit of your stomach. Not even at just the current conversation, but at every interaction you've had with your boyfriend beforehand. Matter of fact, as it occurred to you, you couldn't even recall the last memory/time you'd actually been excited or content with him present, causing even more bitterness to rise the more he spoke.

"Uh, I dunno, 'cause maybe I figured my girlfriend would understand and be there for me an' shit. Like, c'mon, you're my rock, start acting like it."

"You first..."

"Huh?"

"Nothing."

Quiet followed, one that weighed you down like a heavy blanket. One that made you want to run out of the room the second you got the chance, because for whatever reason, you expected the sudden wave of guilt or maybe even some harsher words from the boy in question. Surpringly, neither came.

"Look, uh... I just don't wanna talk about it while I have you here, 'kay?"

Your brows furrowed.

That was...understanding of him. Gentle. Maybe you had misconstrued all of this. Maybe you truly were in the wrong. Maybe-

"I'm gonna get you a drink, yeah?"

"Well, actually, I don't really-"

"-Yeah, but you need one, so..." He interrupted, lifting from his spot on the bed and pressing a swift kiss to your temple. One part of you, as he slowly stalked out of the bedroom, hoped he'd forget and just take the drink for himself. But another part told you the last thing he needed was another, mainly because you didn't come here to babysit. He was right. It was a party, and you did have stress you wanted to celebrate away.

But you were finding it so difficult. After everything, literally everything, all you could do was just sit there and let your mind swirl with thought after thought after thought. Questioning everything, especially yourself, more than ever. Was it really supposed to be this way? Were these the responsibilities that came with being in a relationship? It seemed real complex, draining, even. It hadn't seemed as such from the outside, having observed the other relationships you witnessed your peers enter over time.

I mean, all you wanted was just that. Something simple. A significant other who'd be there for you and care for you and talk to you, not just about their issues, but with you about any and everything. You wanted the cute little kisses and the shy hugs and the awkward meeting of each other's parents. You wanted the cheap gifts and the creative dates, and even if it all sounded like straight-out-of-a-rom-com fantasy crap, you figured it wasn't too much to ask for...

'Ping!'

Your phone chimed once more, and you saw Billy's contact light up on the screen.

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

"You are making it entirely too obvious that you're obsessed with her, dude."

Slowly, Billy turned his head so that Freddy could witness his dead stare, the boy giving an unphazed shrug in response and adding a swift, "Just sayin'."

"I'm literally just trying to make sure Mary is going to the right place, okay?"

"Ooh! Why don't you ask her about the grievances with her partner?" Anthea chirped on the other side of him, leaning over to peer into his and your private chat.

"I'm sure she'd appreciate the-"

"-Trust me, she does not want me bugging her about her love life, okay? I got this."

"Oh, really? Is that why she's with some other dude and not you?" Freddy chided, and before Billy could snap back, Mary aimed her review mirror so that she, too, could deliver Freddy a stern glare.

"Dude..." She warned simply, and he hushed. With a curt sigh as she turned down into a neighborhood street, she began a semi-short lecture and some added advice.

"Look, the only reason you two are going with Billy is because I need you two to...keep the peace, per se."

"You act like I'm gonna lose my shit, oh my god." Billy huffed, Anthea and Freddy sharing quiet giggles while Mary shrugged.

"Relax, it's just a precaution. Like I said before, these things can be tricky so it's better to be safe than sorry. Besides, last thing Rosa needs is you getting into your umpteenth fight."

"Besides," Freddy started up again. "If you do decide to do whatever it is you gotta do, I want proof to laugh at later."

He raised his phone in the air, giving it a knowing shake as they pulled onto a packed street that led directly towards the house they could only assume where the party was being held.

─────────────────────

Billy😼

We're here

Why is it so packed😭

Cuz it's a party, Bill

Did u expect it to be empty?

💀

No but gosh

Why are ppl this hyped to get wasted n high

U are so cynical

I'm realistic🥱

Yeah well IM meeting you outside, so dw about trying to find me ;)

─────────────────────

You couldn't help but bite your lip in feeble attempts to hide the smile threatening to practically crack your face open. Your heart pounded, and your hands were growing clammy and jittery. The bounce of your leg made the bed shake, and it made you wonder why you were so anxious just to see Billy. He was your best friend. It should never be this serious.

Was it even anxiousness? You were smiling. But, then again...

Maybe it was because you had sent that stupid little winky face. Was that too flirty? Did you even mean it to be flirty? You were his best friend, there shouldn't be a reason for him to even take it that way. But... if he didn't, wouldn't that make you a little upset? What would be so crazy about you flirting with him? Would he hate that? Or would he hate that because it's you and you're supposed to be just friends?

Oh shit. You're supposed to be meeting him outside.

You quickly gathered your things and exited the bedroom, making your way through the crowds and towards the stairs.

"Hey...!"

Billy, as much as he tried to fight it, allowed his entire stoic and introverted demeanor to melt into lighting up at the mere sound of your voice. And then, the half-second you gave him to admire you and your outfit and your hair before running into his arms for a much needed and, for some reason, unexpected hug.

Should he even be hugging you? You had a boyfriend. Why should that even matter? It's just a hug, and you were just friends. You know what? Doesn't matter.

"You're here, you made it!" You spoke loud over the music blasting from the stereos, Billy nodding surely as he spoke.

"Told you, I'd be here!"

"You did." You barely agreed, nodding to yourself and again, fighting off a bashful smile before sending a wave Freddy's way and sparing Anthea a hug and some swift girl-talk.

For a while, this is how it stayed. The four of you off to find a semi-quiet place to talk and indulging in your own playful banters and stimulating conversations. But, at some point, Anthea remembered her mission. She was to play matchmaker, and it occurred to her that her and Freddy's presence could potentially be stifling that. So...

"Oh my goodness, I love this song!" She squealed suddenly, jumping up from her spot and grabbing Freddy by the wrist.

"I- Wha-? This song? You love this song?" Freddy questioned in a flurry of shock and surprise.

"Yes, this one! My...mother...sung it to me as a traditional, uh... lullaby in my realm. Long, long time ago- let's go dance, my love!" She sputtered quickly, leaving all three of you to tilt your heads like confused puppies.

"...You had-...Y'all listened to Ke$ha in your realm?"

"Yes!! Bye!"

Anthea practically dragged Freddy away, the two boys sharing a shrug as you giggled to yourself at such silly antics.

"They're so...perfect for each other." You sighed, watching the two fondly.

"They're aggravating." Billy huffed, but you knew he didn't mean it. The upward curve of his lips told you otherwise.

"I'm almost jealous." You chuckled, looking downwards into your lap.

"What do you mean? I'm sure the guy your with treats you like a goddess. I mean, that's common sense, right?"

"I wish." You scoffed through another, almost bitter, chuckle. "I can't even remember the last time he..."

Your words trailed away, processing Billy's words as heat rose to your cheeks.

"You think I should be treated like a goddess?"

"Uh, yeah?" Billy spoke with a tone that made you second guess the things you had been putting up with your current boyfriend. "(N/N), didn't I just say common sense?"

"Yeah, but-... I dunno, that's a little crazy, I think."

"If only you knew." Billy threw mindless words into the air, looking back towards the way Freddy's eyes were basically hearts and stars towards Anthea as she danced with him amongst other kids. Mind you, Anthea, the goddess daughter of Atlas, whom Freddy worshipped as such.

"Hm?"

But you weren't supposed to know that.

"Hm? ... oH-! Nothing, nothing. I just...you know...I-"

"-Are you... trying to say that you would...treat me like a goddess?"

Billy stared down at you, green eyes meeting your expecting (E/C) ones until he finally pushed out a curt, "Don't I already?"

"No, but if you're willing to start, I don't mind." You challenged mischievously, standing up and pointing your finger downwards. "I wish to be taken away from the loud music and the drunk teenagers! Upstairs to a much quieter, safe zone! I command it of you."

A disbelieving smile spread across his face, leaving you to try your best and ignore those mesmerizing dimples of his.

"Please."

"I am not carrying up the steps, (Y/N). What if I drop you?"

"But, you said...!" You almost whined, and before you could do so further, he held up surrendering hands and shot you another smirk.

"You're right, I did. C'mon..."

"Yay!" You squealed giddly, adjusting your clothes before jumping onto his back, fully thrilled at the added height and the way you no longer had to use your own two feet.

"Don't make me regret having said anything." He ordered sternly, but you knew him well enough to know that he had trouble remaining so pessimistic around you.

"Never that." You chirped.

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

The "quieter, safe zone" consisted of the two of you finally getting to completely catch up in an empty, upstairs master bedroom. Thirty minutes deep in whatever late night conversation there was to be had by the two of you. Giggles and inside jokes were shared once again, and the playful, witty banter returned. Just like old times, although something in the air lingered differently. Neither of you could place it nor wanted to address it due to the fear of negative change.

But that was okay, because this was enough. It beat the uncomfortable feeling of your drunken boyfriend any day. A harsh thought yet again, but it couldn't be helped. Billy was just... better. Yeah, in general, but now that you've entertained the thought...

Was Billy better for you?

"What'cha thinkin' about?" Billy hummed, laying next to you with his phone in the air as he scrolled through his entertaining TikTok for you page. He paused the next video, waiting to hear you instead, until you finally flipped over on your side to give him your full face. Intern, he gave you his full attention, phone off and away, and eyes gazing into yours.

"...Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, whatever you want."

"..."

Okay, this was a lot harder than you thought. Maybe you hadn't thought this through. It was too late now, though.

"...Do you think-"

"My, my my music hits me so hard! Makes me say, "Oh my lord!" Thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hype feet...!"

Both of your brows knitted at the same time, searching each other's eyes for the wild answer as to why you could hear Freddy's voice over the one of MC Hammer's all the way from downstairs, along with a cheering crowd.

"No way...no he didn't..." Billy murmured, unable to allow himself to move another inch while you nearly shot up from the bed in your own pure disbelief.

"Oh my god...!!" You shrieked with a nervous grin, exiting the room while Billy finally willed himself off the bed just to follow it suite.

The music continued as you two raced down the steps and back into the main area of the house, and low and behold...

"Oh, ohh, oh-oh, oh! Oh, ohh, oh-oh, oh...!"

Freddy had managed to get a crowd going with him, and granted, this was probably the best experience of his life, he would surely wake up tomorrow remembering none of it.

"I swear he had one drink and then just...vanished!" Anthea expressed, both entertained and mildly concerned.

"What are you doing?!" You yelled to him in a panic, Freddy casually pointing out to you with a lazy grin and excited laughter.

"Vibing!!"

"I'm gonna get him a water..." Anthea sighed, making her way towards the direction of the kitchen as you began to try and settle the reckless crowd down. But mainly Freddy's tipsy ass.

"Do not break anything, I swear...! I don't own this house!"

"Relax, I won't!" He scoffed, turning away to face the crowd with his crutch just barely missing a vase by a couple of inches.

"Dude...-!" Billy sighed but found it useless at that point when Freddy was already so unaware of his surroundings.

He looked down at you, you having already been looking up to him for reassurance before another nervous laugh broke out in between the two of you.

"Cmon, let's find Anne, and we can bring them back upstairs."

And though you wished you and Billy had gotten more time together, just the two of you...

"Okay, sure."

...It was probably for the best.

"Hey, (Y/N), there you are, okay, let's go...!" Anthea rushed, having already left the kitchen at such a brisk pace, it caught you off guard when she spun you around by the shoulders and was pushing you back towards where Freddy had accumulated Instagram story worthy hype.

"Wha-? Wait-"

"I'm thinking we should just...grab Freddy and go home!" She chirped, almost uncharacteristically, as she guided you along. "I think we've been here for long enough."

"Well..." You began, slowly maneuvering out of her grasp. "I can't really just leave, y'know, I have to tell-"

"Oh, don't worry about that! He was in the kitchen, I already told him that Mary's here and that she's gonna take us. It's no issue, really...!"

Upon hearing this, Billy looked back over his shoulder towards the archway that led into the kitchen, brows knitting once again as a sinking feeling settled into his chest. Something was very off, and though he wanted to trust Anthea's word...

"Okay, well, at least let me say goodbye..." You mumbled, Anthea too busy hauling Freddy out of his beloved crowd to notice it was too late to grab your hand to stop you.

"Wait...!" She called, but you were already out of sight.

"(Y/N)..."

"Hi." You smiled at Billy as he stood in between you and the archway. A naivety about you that made what he had just seen even more anger and guilt inducing. Not that he should be the one feeling guilty, but...

"Hey, um...You know, Anne's right. I think we should go, y'know?"

"That's fine." You nodded. "But I wanna say goodbye."

"Oh, don't worry." Billy smiled at you calmly, rubbing at your shoulders and ever-so gently pushing you backward. "I already told him 'bye' for you, so..."

This was beginning to grow weird. Your stomach suddenly growing bloated even though you hadn't really eaten yet, a tightness forming in your chest. Why was everyone being so pushy all of a sudden? Why was it so okay for everyone to nudge you around like this? You've already been dealing with it from your boyfriend for so long, you couldn't handle your best friends doing it too.

"Stop it, I just want to say it myself, okay?" You informed sternly, pushing Billy's hand away.

"No." He stopped you, moving back in front of you as if he were blocking you. Or... was he blocking something from you? What was he hiding from you?

"No?" You questioned in disbelief. And you didn't wait for his response before shoving past him and into the kitchen.

"Wait-!"

"Oh shit...."

As cliche as it felt, time seemed to stand still, and the noise began to fade. You actually couldn't believe it was happening, just like in the movies and TV shows and books. And yet, here it was, happening to you the moment your eyes landed on your boyfriend kissing another girl.

Your boyfriend. Kissing another girl. And he was enjoying it. He was enjoying it, and then he saw you and pushed her away like nothing. The exact same way he had been treating you. Like nothing...

"What are you...?" You couldn't even finish because you already knew exactly what he was doing. He was cheating on you, and you were starting to cry.

"(Y/N), I think we should go, now..." Anthea murmured, having joined the scene with a for-the-most-part sobered up Freddy.

You ignored. Not purposefully, of course. But you just...

"Why would you...?"

You couldn't finish that sentence, either.

"I'm-I'm sorry! I didn't even see yo- She-! She kissed me! I didn't-...!" Excuses stumbled from his lips before he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No, no, how could you?" You faked anger, not truly having it within you to be as mad as you wanted. As pissed as you should've been. It just... wasn't there. And it was evident through the freshly dropped tears onto your cheeks as you continued to fake it anyway because he had no right to act as though he was annoyed with the circumstances. You wouldn't let him have it this time.

"I thought that you were supposed to love me? And be there for me? Why the hell are you even-? Why did you even invite me if you weren't gonna even talk to me or be with me or even- even just act like my boyfriend? Even if you didn't mean it, you couldn't just fake it for one fucking night?"

"Oh, because you've been the best girlfriend ever..."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"When I was with you earlier tonight, (Y/N), I tried to be with you. You didn't want to do shit, I mean, c'mon! You don't even drink!"

"I literally tried-! I-...What does that have to do with anything?" You cried in stammers. "How is that a good reason for you to-... to-...!"

"Being with someone and getting with someone are not synonymous. She didn't owe you any of her just because she consented to being your partner." Anthea stated factly, words you couldn't formulate in the moment perfected for you by her on your behalf.

"Look, I wouldn't expect you to understand." He spoke, addressing Anthea with condescension and an eye roll that made her sneer. "Guys... we're different, okay? We just...we have needs, and at least she's trying. What we're you doing, (Y/N)? Hanging out upstairs with him?"

He pointed to Billy, and the boy in question had half of a mind to end the argument right there on his own, more violent, terms. But for now, he wouldn't. He knew better than to act out of turn, especially given your emotional state, as much as it hurt him to see things play out this way for you.

"How do I know you weren't cheating on me, huh? Even after everything I told you about what's going on with me? My family and my worries?"

"I would never do that!" You defended. "Billy is my friend, okay? And it's not my fault that you've never been able to accept the fact that maybe he should be more than that, because he treats me ten times better than you ever could!"

You had let the words...confession?...words slip out unintentionally, but you were on a roll. A force to be reckoned with as you moved closer to your newly made ex.

"I've been there for you this entire time, but what about what I needed?! What about my needs? They were always ignored, and you were always the one ignoring them! I mean, look at you, you're not even sorry! Just mad you got caught."

"I'm-!"

"-No!" You cut. "You know what you are? A self-centered, cheating, asshole!"

*s m a c k*

And before he could even register you had slapped him and that Freddy had laughed inappropriately loud at it, you were gone. He didn't even get to see you leave the kitchen, your figure already halfway up the steps and towards the master bedroom to gather your things. At least, that's what you told yourself, until the tears kept coming, and your chest wouldn't stop rising and falling. Your throat was on fire and-

*SLAM!*

*c l i c k*

. . .

"I should rearrange the insides of your body where you stand..." Anthea cursed with half of a mind to do just that. But alas...

She was swift to urge Billy and Freddy along, quickly rushing after your path until stopping at the sound of your broken sobs.

"Oh no..." She sighed to herself, her heart aching for you as Freddy moved forward. He twisted the knob and sighed.

"It's locked."

Billy and Anthea shared a look, Freddy's forehead leaning against the wood of the door and mustering it up within himself to speak as calmly as possible.

"(N/N)? Heyyy, y'know-...I know things got...rough for you out there. But-! But maybe this is a good thing, like, if you just-!"

"Go away...!"

A pause lingered in the air, Freddy able to hear the hurt in your voice. He knew that's not truly what you wanted, to isolate yourself. And even if it was, he just didn't have the heart to let it be so. He was one of your best friends, he couldn't stand to see you like this. Hell, even just to hear it. Looking over towards his brother, he could only imagine what it was doing to him on the inside. So, for both you and Billy's sake, he tried again...

"You know I can't do that. I don't wanna leave you here, (Y/N). Please just...talk to us. We wanna help you through this."

No response this time, though he could hear you muffiling your cries away in failed attempts to not be heard.

"I don't...think she wants to come out."

"Let me try." Anthea spoke. She moved forward, replacing Freddy's position in front of the door and giving the softest of knocks.

"(Y/N)? It's Anne... I...can't possibly begin to understand the way you must feel right now. You never deserved this, and we'd just like to help you, okay? Whatever you need, just tell us, I'll make it happen."

"Go. Away." You seethed.

"...But-"

"I need you guys to go away, okay? Just leave me alone, I just..."

You didn't want to say you wanted to go home. Even though you did. It seemed a little baby-ish on your part, and regardless of the meltdown you were having, the last thing you wanted was to further embarrass yourself by acting childish. Crying over your freshly dumped boyfriend and your new, heart aching, emotional wounds was enough for tonight already.

"Please, just go away." You begged through choked sobs.

Billy couldn't take it anymore.

"Just...okay, just move. I'll sit with her, Freddy, call Mary."

"But how-"

"-Just do it, please, okay?"

The two sighed, Anthea sending a nod of good luck before leaving Billy on his own to sit on the other side of the door with his back up against it, listening to you carefully. Not that you were doing much of anything but crying, but part of you couldn't even believe it.

You wondered to yourself why the tears and emotions were even lasting this long. Although, you supposed that regardless of how laughable the relationship was, it was still your first. You had still given it your all, invested your energy and love into it. Maybe that's why it hurt so badly. All of it taken for granted, thrown away disastrously at a random house party.

God, this house.

You wanted to get out of this house.

Not that you could...

You hadn't paid much attention to the commotion outside the door, but you had loosely figured that once it'd gone quiet, the trio had obeyed your requests, leaving you on your own. Which, in hindsight, that's not what you wanted. More than anything, you needed someone to be there for you. To just be there was even enough. You needed-

"...Billy?"

He had stood the moment he heard you begin to unlock the door, taking steps back to allow you space before you opened the door to his sheepish figure.

"Hey."

You could only stare for a moment, warm tears brimming your waterline all over again until you literally couldn't stop yourself from moving forward.

"(Y/N), are you o-"

He huffed at the impact of you colliding with his chest, but recovered just fast enough to hold you as you cried some more.

"You didn't leave me..." You whined in between shallow breaths of air, gripping onto the back of his shirt as though he would in mere seconds.

But, he wouldn't. He couldn't.

"Of course not, I'd never leave you." He reassured, encouraging you to bury yourself further into him by tightening his hold.

"I'm right here, okay? And Mary'll be here soon, we're gonna take you home, 'kay?" He murmured against your temple, only for you to look up at him with big, glossy eyes and a pouted lip.

"Home?"

"Anywhere but here, but yes, home."

You laughed. He had made you laugh, even when you truly thought you couldn't.

"I-"

You stopped yourself. You were not going to say that. You knew better than to try and say something you weren't even sure you meant. Hell, you had been doing it this whole time with your ex, and you hadn't even ever told him the I.L.Y words yet. You wouldn't do that to Billy. Instead, you began to apologize.

"I'm sorry." It was a murmur at first, barely audible words before you willed yourself to speak up and be brave yet again tonight. Have some confidence, even if it was a little fake.

"I'm sorry I said those things. Earlier, when I was yelling at...that prick. I hadn't meant for it to-...It just came out, and it came out weirdly, and I don't-... I don't wanna make this awkward between us, I didn't- I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You don't have to be sorry."

"Yes, I do." You argued, even as he shook his head 'no'.

"No, you don't, (Y/N). I just... want you to mean it."

You were a little thrown off by such wording, pulling away slightly as you wiped your eyes and cheeks with the sleeve of your shirt.

"Huh?"

"(Y/N)..." He sighed, looking away for a moment as if he were putting the words together in his mind. You waited patiently, having known that he was never one for thoroughly explaining his inner emotions. He had been there for you, so, now it was your turn.

"...I want you to mean all of that stuff you said because I just... I love being your best friend, it's... You're amazing. But I've kind of always thought us being... more than that would be even better. But I didn't wanna ruin a good thing, so I just...I just decided I'd be there for you for everything else, even if it meant you... not being with me and with someone else."

"Billy-"

"-And I know...! I know it doesn't really matter what I want at the end of the day, because again, I'm just here for you. But... when you got with that doucebag, I just...I didn't not want you with him. I just didn't want you the way you were with him. I never have. I don't want some version of you that's toned down and trying to be a certain way for anybody, including me. I mean, all I've ever wanted was you. I only want you, (Y/N)."

You didn't know what to say. What could you say? I mean, you could think. But all that would run through your mind was, 'How could I be so stupid and blind?'.

It was here that you knew that you would be completely sure... that you meant it when you told him-

"I love you."

And while yes, you blurted it out fast and awkwardly, you still knew that it was true.

Billy smiled because he did, too.

"I love you, too."

And there you were again, back in the safety and comfort of his arms, but this time, with his lips planted on yours in a kiss that actually felt like fireworks. The way it was supposed to feel, gentle, and full of love and care. Soft, yet eager, with no intention to take it further than you wanted it to go. Breaking the kiss in order to breathe properly, you could finally see the way Freddy had looked at Anthea all of this time while Billy gazed down at you.

With stars and hearts in his eyes.

I hope this was good!! I know it's a bit long, but I have no self control, no one's here to tell when to stop. So. I don't🥴.

Also, I apologize for my long hiatuses. I feel like it's a curse, for fanfic writers, to be going thru the most wicked shit when all we wanna do is write our silly little stuff😭.

But I promise, I'll try to keep more consistent because I love doing this!

~ Star✨️

Back to Master List

[lifesfeelings]

Of Course, a Man :)

Okay, I have a lot of stuff that I feel like I want to talk about surrounding my trip out to my prospective M.A., but honestly I’m mostly already hung up on a guy, so we’ll start there 😂 so the English department at the university is who flew me out, but we had a lunch where prospective grad students across all language disciplines got together. There was this guy who is looking at getting his M.A. in German and he was really cute, but we didn’t get the chance to talk pretty much at all during the lunch. I feel like we did bond a little bit being some of the only MA students (with most being prospective Ph.D.). Anyway, the director of graduate studies hosted a dinner party at her house and i had been under the impression that it was just going to be English. It ended up being like every single person I met on the trip. So like tons of tons of professors, prospective throughout all language departments, the guest speakers from our colloquium… A PACKED house lol. I was trying to socialize and talk to professors and stuff but it got kinda awkward and weird. I went and stood against a wall and kinda was just people watching when the German student came and stood next to me. He struck up a conversation and we talked for a good fifteen minutes and bonded over being the only M.A.s and it was just really nice. I started gaining some interest when he said something about being gay and then one of the professors who I had an office hour with came to talk to me. She wanted to introduce me around and stuff, so a TOTAL cock-block lol! So eventually the guy wandered away so he didn’t intrude. After like 10 minutes, the conversation fizzled with the professor and stuff and so I broke away to stand alone somewhere, absolutely kinda just hoping that he would come find me 😅 not like two minutes later he stood up from a conversation he was having and came and stood next to me. He said something like, “If I’m bothering let me know. You’ve been my anchor at this party though and I really appreciate you spending time with me.” I told him he was doing the same for me and we talked about how it really is a comfort to have each other (mostly saying because we’re both prospective MA). After like 25-30 more minutes of talking with him, I told him I was gonna go start saying goodbye to people but that I’d come find him before I left. I I made my rounds, and it took me FOREVER to get people to let me leave lol! As I went toward the front door I saw that he was getting ready too. I asked him for his number/snap and he friended me on Snapchat. And now we’ve texted a little, but I had to crash early and my flight was at like 7, so I’m hoping the texting conversation stays alive! It sounds like we’re both decently interested in going here so there’s honestly a chance we’ll be able to see each other in the fall.

03.04.2023

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

Cupid's Chokehold | Bucky Barnes x Reader

Hi! I don't write smut anymore- this is smut adjacent. And because it's me it's got some angst, but also fluff. It's kind of a catchall.

Warnings: domBucky, subReader, talk of sex, sex acts, choking, discussion of kinks, Bucky's trauma

------------------------------------

Back before you got together, you’d imagined Bucky’s style in bed as gentle, almost too polite. He was from a different era. Things in his day certainly weren’t as wild as the current age. And after his time as the winter soldier, you knew his soft touch was an overcompensation. A penance for the violence he’d performed.

You feared you’d scare him with your kinks and deepest desires. But his quiet nature held a depravity you hadn’t expected. 

When he asked you to find his notebook and read aloud a phone number he’d jotted down, you never expected what you found.

“Baby, did you find it?” he called, but you didn’t hear him. You didn’t notice his footsteps growing ever closer, either. Only when he touched your shoulder did you realize you weren’t alone. 

“I didn’t mean to- it just opened to this page and I…” you stammered. “Buck, is this a sex bucket list?”

Bucky’s cheeks reddened, and he kicked himself for asking you to flip through his notebook. “I didn’t- it wasn’t supposed to be a bucket list…” he said. “I heard about a bunch of things, and I didn’t know what they were. I just wrote them down so I could look them up, but…”

You eyed his list and read a small selection. “Bondage. Edging. Impact play. Marking. Hmmm…” Everything on his list enticed you. “So, you liked some of ‘em, huh?” you nudged your shoulder against his.  “Seems like you’re the dominant type.”

Your sex life with Bucky was slow and steady. He still didn’t trust his own strength, still feared he’d hurt you. And giving his body over to you, no matter how much trust you built, presented its own set of challenges. He was still working through some things, and you never pushed. But something about the way he looked at you as his notebook sat open in your hand made your cheeks hot.

“Yeah, I liked a lot of ‘em, actually,” he said, his hands fidgeting. “I just don’t know why I like those things.” Something unpleasant darkened his gaze. Out of pure instinct, he took a small step away. “I know what it’s like to not be in control, you know? I’ve been restrained and marked and hit…” His voice fell a bit quieter, “I know how it feels. And I don’t want to do any of that to you.”

The heat building in your chest fizzled at the mention on Bucky’s abuse. He had no realistic gauge for measuring what was and wasn’t okay. So much happened to him during his time at Hydra- he had zero ownership of his own body. They stripped him of his autonomy. It made sense that he feared these particular desires. 

“Nothing you experienced was consensual,” you said. “That was abuse. The way this stuff works,” you gestured to his notebook, “this stuff is all agreed upon. It’s discussed and negotiated. There’s safe words. No one does anything that the other hasn’t said yes to. You know each other’s limits- it’s about safety. And trust.”

He nodded.

“And as far as preferences go, everyone likes what they like. Maybe you steer more toward dominance because Hydra took your sense of control. Or maybe it’s something else completely.” You dotted a kiss to his lips, “I don’t know why I’m submissive in bed. I just am. And I don’t see you any differently for the things you wanna try. I encourage exploration.” You shot him a wink shut his notebook, handing it back to him.

Something in his smile reignited your lust. “I know we’ve been taking things kinda slow because of my, um, unique situation…”

“I’m not in any rush, Buck.”

He rested a hand against your cheek and dragged his thumb across your bottom lip. “I know, baby. I was just thinking…” He nearly stopped himself. What if he made you uncomfortable? He wasn’t sure exactly what you liked just yet. Up until this point, everything in your sex life was cautious and calculated. No spare energy or focus went to kinks or fantasies. He kept a careful watch on the way he touched you. He knew what you didn’t want, and you knew the same about him. But everything else remained a mystery.

“If you want to help me check a few things off my list, we could start tonight-”

Your ‘yes’ was immediate.

But before you could make it to bed, Bucky pulled you into the living room and made you sit in his lap. He had you give him every detail of what you liked. What you wanted. He listened and asked questions and shot you a wicked smirk every time something you said stoked his fire. Focusing on your words when his ever-hardening cock nudged against you time and time again was nearly impossible. 

In return, he told you what he liked, what piqued his interest- what he wanted to do with you. His breathe hitched as you listened with your hands trailing down his abdomen. You’d been right- he was dominant. And everything he wanted seemed to line up perfectly with the things you thirsted for. It sent rush of heat to your cheeks. Who knew he had such a kinky side? 

Together, you agreed on hard limits and safe words. And, while Bucky did want to spank you, he showed no interest in doing so with anything other than his right hand. “I don’t wanna use this one…” he said, clenching his metal fingers into a fist, “it would hurt too much.” And you assured him that he didn’t have to- he didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want to do.

When he finally carried you to bed, your mouth nearly watered. Everything was a haze of lips and hands and sweat- it almost had you dizzy. And even though Bucky knew your limits, he still had to ask every so often. He checked in when you went quiet- or got particularly loud- but always a received an affirmative in response. 

“No nodding,” he said when you were too breathless to speak, “can you use your words for me, doll?”

After a few greedy inhales, you gave your answer. “Yes. I-I’m good.” You wanted him to consume you, to never stop touching you. 

His left hand pinned your wrists above your head while his teeth left mark after mark across your chest. He teased you, had you almost begging. And when you didn’t beg, he flipped you over. If you weren’t going to play his game, he’d turn your ass red until you did. You shot him wicked smiles and bratty shrugs, never following his instructions. 

But when you finally played along like a good girl, he granted you what you wanted: his cock. 

He drove into you time and time again, your legs hoisted up around his waist. His fingers dug into your hips and held you firmly in place. Nothing could make him break his rhythm- until you spoke up.

“Buck-” you breathed, reaching for his hand, “choke me.”

His hips stuttered to a halt.

You let out a needy whine and moved against him, “Wait, no…” Yet again, you tried to roll your hips against his, “don’t stop. I just want you to choke me”. You gave his hand a tug, “please?”

He leaned in close a dragged his lips across yours before responding with a firm, “no”.

You pouted. Maybe he was teasing you- yet again. Your bratty attitude returned with a vengeance, “Why not?”

“Because your headspace is compromised.” Bucky was serious. “You might want that now- but regret it after. And I don’t want that to happen.” He dropped another kiss to your lips.

“But, Buck-”

“No,” he said again. “We’re not gonna renegotiate now. We’ll talk about it later, baby.”

Another rebuttal found its way to the surface, but just as you opened your mouth, Bucky stopped you. “Be a good girl ,” he gave his hips a slow roll, “and don’t argue.”  And that was the end of it.

Bucky held your pliant body in his arms. He gave you some water to drink and inspected every bite mark and hickey that adorned your skin. He quite liked how they looked, and knowing you liked them too had him grinning. He checked in on you, doted on you, made sure you felt safe and loved and cared for. And when you finally came back to life, you were ready to talk.

“I’m really sorry about earlier, Buck…” you rested your head against his sternum in shame. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I just got carried away in the moment and I-”

“See, that’s why I wouldn’t do it.”

You brought your face up to meet his, “what do you mean?”

“You said you got ‘carried away’, and that’s why you wanted me to choke you,” he said. “You weren’t thinking clearly. We didn’t agree on choking beforehand. And I didn’t want you regretting it after.”

You nodded.

“You said it’s about safety and trust. And if I did anything to break that trust or make you feel unsafe, I’d never forgive myself.” He ran a hand through your hair and brought his palm to rest against your cheek, “Plus, if I’m being honest, I don’t necessarily want to choke you.” A strange cold eliminated the warmth from his eyes. “I did that a lot when I was, um…” he clenched his metal fist, “anyway, it’s just not something I’m comfortable doing yet.”

“Oh, then forget it,” you said. “You don’t ever have to be comfortable with it- we can forego that completely.”

“But you want me to-”

“Not if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“What about-”

You silenced him with a long, soft kiss. “There’s no ‘but’ or ‘what about’. If you don’t want to choke me, don’t do it. This is about both of us feeling safe. And I don’t want to do anything that’s gonna dredge up shit from your past. Choking is off the table.” You gave him another quick peck to punctuate your thought.

The tension in Bucky’s shoulders fell away with your words of reassurance. He couldn’t shake the image of his vibranium hand wound too tight around your throat, blocking your air way, and crushing your windpipe. It made him shudder. But he cared about making you happy, about pleasing you. More than his own comfort. 

“I can work up to that- I just don’t want to right now,” he promised. His accompanying smile was a bit too wide, a bit too fake. “But I’ll get there, I promise. Just give me a little time and I’ll-”

You brought your hands to either side of his face, silencing him. “You don’t have to get there- I meant what I said. It sounds to me like that’s a hard limit for you. Is that correct?”

He shrugged. It was a non-answer; he didn’t want to commit either way.

“Okay- how about this? I told you earlier that don’t ever want to hit you in the face cause it makes me uncomfortable. Remember?”

He nodded. 

“Would you want me to ignore that limit if you asked me to slap you across the face?”

Without hesitation, he said no. 

“Then why are you willing to ignore a hard limit of yours?”

But you knew the answer. He didn’t have control over his own mind or body back at Hydra. He did what he was told, no matter what. And if he didn’t, he’d get punished. They’d strip him down to the bone with beatings and reset his mind until they could guarantee he wouldn’t resist. They’d break him all over again before putting him back together for the millionth time. 

And, though he knew he’d never face wrath like that with you, it was his nature to do as he was told. He may have been dominant during the act, but after was a different story. He aimed to please, to obey, to follow orders.

“This is our bedroom in our house and what we say, goes. Alright? So if you wanna add choking to your list of hard limits, we will. And you don’t ever have to try and get comfortable with it. You don’t ever have to do it.” This time, you pulled him into your body. You rested his head against your chest and ran your fingers through his hair. “Do we have a deal?”

Bucky nodded against your chest.

“Can you use words for me, babe?”

He smiled against your skin- it’s like you stole hie earlier words right out of his mouth. “Yes. Deal.”

“Good,” you leaned down and left a kiss on his head. “Cause we only scratched the surface of your notebook- there’s a lot more things we can try.”

———————

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[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Life Goes On

This if for @buckybarnesplumwhore​

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; grieving, funeral, breeding, handcuffs, warnings are not exhaustive so read at your own discretion.

This is dark! Andy Barber x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: You volunteer at the local youth center but when one of the kids meets an unfortunate end, you cross paths with his father. No stranger to grief, you try to help him cope but find it a bigger than task that you expected.

Note: When I started writing, I had no plan. When I kept writing, there was still no plan. And then it just all kinda happened.

Thanks to everyone for sticking around and putting up with me and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

It was too sunny for a funeral. A funeral come too soon.

The service was held out in the sun, rows of wooden chairs and a sombre old priest. You never knew if the Barbers were religious but it was easy to find a holy man in Massachusetts, as easy as those early years of settlement found in textbooks. 

There were no flowers, only two oblong caskets shrouded in black cloth, the name of each of the dead on silver placards, no pictures, no souvenir of who they were.

It was like Andy was already trying to forget them. He was at the front, the grieving widower and father. You were lost somewhere in the middle with his co-workers, there out of propriety more than empathy, and distant relatives who attended out of courtesy, some passing acquaintances who followed the story in the papers more than out of compassion. It was a spectacle and Andy had done his best from feeding the leering onlookers.

You knew Jacob more than his parents. He was younger than you, almost ten years apart. You knew him from the youth group you volunteered for, the same one you'd been in at his age. He was out of place there, he was from a better neighbourhood than the other kids, they called him the rich brat, and he resented himself more for it than he did them.

His attendance kept his mother happy. He didn't like the individual counseling, he didn't talk, so she put him in the group and he talked there. Sometimes. The kids never went on philosophical monologues but they understood each other and shared what they needed to.

Laurie was always late to pick him up. So he stayed to help stack the chairs and you ended up waiting with him, making sure he wasn't alone in the dark. He hated that at first too, until he realised you weren't on the stoop to council or judge. You were just two people, chatting to pass the time.

Sometimes Andy picked him up. He was friendlier than Laurie. Jacob's mother was always in a rush, even on her way home where there was no deadline. She said thanks, maybe, and drove off as she began to lecture Jacob about how he wore his hat. Andy offered you a ride, every time, as if he had some compulsion to be the good guy, the saviour. You always said no, the bus was a five minute ride to your building, fifteen minutes if you walked.

Now Jacob was dead, his mother too. Another tragedy inflicted upon those least likely. Even death didn't stop the whispers, even that venue, the priest's collar, the Biblical dirges, the grim family man in black did not silence them. It sickened you as the service ended and the people rose in a hushed murmur.

Andy left without talking to anyone. The procession of cars would drive through the streets with flags to mark the grieving on their way to the interment. It was as if Andy was doing what was expected more than what he felt he owed the deceased. He was ever the lawyer, formal and curt.

You followed the grey parade. Not out of obligation but out of genuine regret. Jacob seemed like a lost kid, even in death. The rumours, the accusations, the suspicion, followed him. The people didn't watch the dirt fall from the shovel to see him at peace, they watched it as some grand finale to the great show of the Barbers.

When the metal no longer cut and scattered the soil, the crowd thinned out. You stayed as the diggers packed up. You were sad for Jacob, for Laurie. Andy hadn't been there to see the burial. You couldn't blame him but you were surprised. He just disappeared after the service, apparently done with his part in the play. 

You went closer and stared at the new stone that stretched above both plots. Laurie Barber… and her son, Jacob Barber. May they rest. It was as short, as minimal as anything else about the affair. You wiped your eyes with the back of your hand. You didn't know if Jacob was a bad seed, it wasn't your job to make that call, but he had just been a kid and all that potential was now six feet down.

"Didn't think anyone would stick around," the dark figure stepped up beside you, his steps muted by the grass, "least of all, you."

"I'm sorry, I…" you looked at Andy and then the dirt, "I'll go."

"Wait," he said before you could move, "I thought-- I thought I wanted to be alone for this…" he shoved his hand in his pocket, "but I've been alone since it happened and I'm realising, I'm gonna be alone from here on out."

You didn't say a word. You didn't know what you could say. He'd heard a hundred apologies, a hundred condolences.

"I'm happy someone stayed, that someone cared," he cleared his throat, "thank you."

You nodded and played with the buttons on your cardigan.

"He was too. Happy, you know, that someone cared. I think back now and I realise that you probably saw him more than me. He was always excited to go to the centre but he got in that car and he just… deflated." He shook his head, "maybe this is better. One way or the other, he wanted to get away from me but he never could get away from Laurie. She wouldn't let him go."

He chuckled sardonically but it quickly fizzled in his throat.

"Sorry, I'm rambling…"

"You're processing," you said, "a lot of the kids down at the centre, they lost parents, one way or the other, orphans, fosters… I always told them that they didn't have to make sense because grief never really does."

"Now that makes a lot of sense," he said, "but you shouldn't have to listen to me."

"I shouldn't or you don't think you should say any of it?"

"Hmmm," he hummed, "yeah, maybe."

"I don't get paid to listen to those kids, I just get a time and a place to do so. This isn't different. It's just talking and a lot of that is just figuring things out. Listening is easy, you're doing the hard part."

"Jeez, you come up with this stuff on your own or is there some sort of how-to book?"

You lifted your chin and sucked in your lip. You could tell where Jacob got the bite from.

"Sorry, that was… mean," he said after the silence settled with the dirt, "can I ask you something?"

"Sure," you said.

"You got somewhere to be?"

"No…" you answered cautiously.

"Do you think you might wanna listen to me a little more? I'll buy you a coffee for the trouble."

"You wanna talk? To me?"

"Better than anyone I do know," he snorted, "they all just give me that dumb look. They pity me, judge me. You don't have to say yes but I started now, if I stop, I'll...stop."

"Coffee?" You glanced over at him, "I'd rather tea."

"I'm sure they got that too," he fiddled with the trim of his pocket, "anytime you wanna bail, let me know."

"If I can handle teen angst, I think I can handle you."

🖤

That afternoon wasted away in the corner of a café. It felt like any other day but for Andy, you knew, it was likely the worst day of his life. Likely a day he wouldn’t forget. You sat patiently until the last of your tea was cold. He didn’t finish his coffee, he hardly even touched it. When you checked the time, he looked down embarrassed.

“It’s late,” he said, “I… I’m sorry for keeping you so long.”

“I didn’t have anything to do. I doubt you did either,” you swept up the paper cup and your purse.

“No, really, I mean, you don’t know me. You knew Jacob and I just sat here and talked your ear off for hours. I--” he looked out the window, “I know that when I go home, the house will still be empty. That’s why I’m here.”

You looked past him as he turned back. You chewed your lip, “Andy, have you looked into counseling yet?”

“It feels… too early for that.”

“Too early?”

“I don’t want to let it go. Don’t want to let them go,” he sucked his hands in his pockets, “if I go, that’s what they’ll tell me to do.”

“No, they’d help you live with it, not forget it,” you said, “but I know, it’s scary. Have you done anything? Read anything?”

“Read?”

“Self-help isn’t for everyone and those dummy books aren’t great I admit, but sometimes a start is better than nothing. What about… a routine? Do you have one?”

“I work, I come home, I sleep, and try not to notice they’re gone,” he shrugged, “and repeat. Lot of overtime.”

“You’re still working?” you went to the door and he followed.

“Well, I talked to you. That’s what I’m going to do about it.”

You stepped out into the evening din and spun to look at him. You crossed your arms and stood across from him on the pavement.

“Well, unfortunately there’s an age limit down at the centre,” you said, “but I could give you a number for an adult group.”

“No, I don’t wanna talk to a group of sad parents and widowers. Just remind me how pathetic I really am,” he scoffed.

“Do you think that what you’re doing right now is better?”

“Do you have a degree in this?” he wondered, “what are you doing down at that youth centre talking to degenerates?”

“I have a certificate that says I’m good at listening, but no, I couldn’t afford a degree,” you dropped your arms, “but, will you come down? Sit in on a session. Just listen… for Jacob? It helped him, I think, after a while?”

“With the kids?”

“Yeah, with the kids,” you said, “maybe it will help you decide.”

“Decide what?”

“If you’re going to keep doing what you're doing; nothing, or if you’re going to try. Trust me, after a while, just sitting there, ignoring it, it gets old and it won’t get better.”

He looked down and stared at his leather shoe as he ground his toe into the pavement, “is that allowed? Am I allowed to do that?”

“I don’t see why not. I have parents sit in all the time.”

“But I’m not-- not anymore,” he gulped.

“You are,” you patted his arm gently, “you always will be.”

“What time?” he raised his head.

“Tuesdays and Thursdays at four-thirty. We do accept late arrivals. Kids come in and out. Usually hang out til seven before I let them go.”

“I think I can make that work,” he exhaled deeply, “thank you.”

“For what?”

“For putting up with me.”

You nodded and gave a bittersweet smile, “I miss Jacob too. I might be little more than a glorified babysitter but it means something to me. The kids… they feel like they’re mine sometimes. At least on those two nights a week.”

“Well…” he peered down the street, “you need a ride?”

You chuckled quietly, “you now, I think this time, I do.”

🖤

Andy was early. He took a chair near the wall as the kids flopped on the low sofas and into the colourful armchairs. A government grant had seen an upgrade in the lounge, although the kitchen needed some work as the cooking classes were still short on supplies. Dark circles darkened his eyes and the hairline wrinkles around them added to the hollow effect. He wasn’t sleeping.

You waited for the room to quiet. You greeted the kids and went through the usual ice breaker; one bad thing, one good thing, and one way they could improve the bad. Many of them were reluctant at first, they resisted what they thought were cheesy and inane exercises but they all came around. They were able to voice things that otherwise would be kept to themselves and they were afforded a respectful and often rapt audience.

When you finished, you kept from naming your own three. You looked at Andy.

“I’m sorry, everyone, I’m so forgetful. This is Andy,” you gestured to him, “he’s sitting in with us today. Andy, why don’t you tell us your bad thing, your good thing, and one thing you can do to improve the bad.”

He looked startled but he stood and cleared his throat. He glanced around at the kids and the shadow left his face. “Well, I lost a file, there were free bagels at work, and… I guess I could try to look again tomorrow.”

“Very good,” you smiled, “alright, my turn at last. My bad thing is I spilled tea on my shirt, my good thing is it’s a dark shirt, and my thing to improve is… wear a bib.” You laughed as you audience stay stone faced, “alright, alright, I’ll just be more careful and not run with hot liquids.”

You sat and started with Danica. She was always the most talkative, that encouraged the other kids. Today was no exception and you had to remind her to save some time for everyone else. Erik was next, then Andre, and Shamea. You almost didn’t notice Andy as he stood and sidled against the wall. Not until he was at the door, he looked back darkly and you saw his chest fall heavily. His nostrils flared and he was gone.

You tried not to show your disappointment, tried not to let the kids notice. They were all caught up in the circle and breaking it was never good. Shamea passed the stuffed bunny to Naima and you focused on her. Maybe it was too soon for Andy, you understood that, but you hoped too that he might have found a piece of Jacob there.

Before the kids left, you handed out the coloured markers and they each scribbled down a few words before a high-five. They passed through the open door in pairs and singles, and you bent to add your own note. You tucked the card into your bag and locked up. Jacob was usually the only one to hang around. Not anymore.

You headed out the front door with a wave to Martha at the front desk and took a gulp of the fresh evening air. There was someone sat on the flat stone at the bottom of the broad rail of the stairs. You recognised Andy as you neared, much too big to be a teen.

“I’m sorry,” he dabbed his nose with his sleeve, “I couldn’t… I couldn’t stay in that room.”

“But you’re still here,” you said.

“I didn’t wanna just leave you hanging but… they all remind me of him,” he stood, “I’m sorry.”

“No more apologies,” you opened your purse and searched, “I had the kids put this together. Actually, it was Milo’s idea. He didn’t know it was you but he wanted to send it in the mail--”

“What?” he took the card and opened it. He turned so he could read it in the yellow light of the street lamp, “oh my god.”

“Is it too much?”

“No, no,” he ran his thumb over the ink, “it’s…” he closed it and tucked it into his jacket, “the only other thing I’ve got is the bill for the caskets. It’s… amazing. Thank you.”

“Not at all. They always surprise me,” you said, “most of the time, in good ways.”

“You need a ride?” he checked his watch.

“I don’t live far,” you waved him off, “but I always appreciate the offer.”

He nodded and frowned, “and if… if I didn’t want to be alone? Would you grab a burger with me? Have you eaten?”

“Not since lunch, I, uh… I guess it couldn’t hurt,” you said.

“You gotta be up early?”

“Nah, not too early.”

“What do you do? I mean, outside of this?” he turned and directed you to his car.

“Data entry,” you sighed, “it’s not very exciting but I work remotely and the pay is decent and I still have time for the kids.”

“It’s a living,” he said as the door locks clicked and you grabbed the handle, “no judgment. Trust me, being a lawyer, it’s really not as glamourous as it seems.”

🖤

Andy’s routine changed. He came around every Thursday and listened. After a few weeks, the kids figured out who he was. They didn’t treat him any differently and even invited him to join in on the teambuilding games you arranged. He wasn’t bad help as you welcomed a few new members from the group home.

That night, you weren’t feeling great. Even the kids hadn’t helped much. You were exhausted and nauseous. You blamed it on the late night shawarma. You said goodbye to the kids and packed up. Andy stacked the chairs without you asking, even when you told him not to.

You leaned heavily on the table and checked your phone before slipping it into your bag. You wiped your forehead and shivered. Some gravol, ginger ale, and sleep would be your indulgence that night.

“You okay?” Andy asked.

“Stomach thing,” you rubbed your middle, “nothing major.”

“You don’t look great,” he said, “well, I don’t mean it like-- are you sure--”

“Oh, gee,” you slid past him and out the door.

You ran to the restroom across the hall and into a stall. You wretched and the acid seared your throat. The bile bubbled in the toilet water and you shuddered. You heaved a few more times and rinsed your mouth in the sink.

Andy was waiting for you in the hall, “let me drive you tonight,” he insisted, “even if it’s just a block away.”

“I can’t even say no,” you grumbled as he handed you your purse.

“What’s wrong? You eat something?”

“I think,” you groaned as he held the door open and the cool air outside chilled the sweat on your neck, “urgh, I hope it’s only that.”

You got to his car and fell heavily into the seat. You slumped against the console as he started the car. He paused as the engine idled and felt your forehead. He nudged you back against the seat and turned his hand to press the back of his fingers to your cheek.

“You got a fever,” he said, “I don’t think it’s food poisoning.”

“Oh, those kids carry bugs like rats,” you muttered, “just take me home, I’ll get over it.”

He pulled out of his spot and you closed your eyes. You leaned against the window, frigid against your forehead and hugged yourself. You dozed off before he even turned out of the lot, the belt keeping you from folding over entirely.

🖤

You woke up between fresh linen. The sunlight was soft in its early hues. It wasn't your bed. You rolled onto your side and your stomach ached from how empty it was. You pushed back the thick duvet, you were sweating. You didn't remember more than the car ride and a few fuzzy glimpses of the bottom of a bucket. 

You were cold again and pulled the blanket back. The door was open and Andy filled it as if he'd heard your grumbles. He stood at the bottom of the bed in a pair of plaid pants and a blue tee.

"Why am I here?" You asked. 

"You fell asleep. You're sick. I couldn't just leave you outside your building," he said, "how are you feeling?"

"Bad," you replied curtly, "I can go," you sat up, "stop by the pharmacy, go hide in my own bed."

"You should stay here," he insisted, "just until the fever breaks."

"Really… ugh," you moaned as your belly clenched, "Andy, I should--"

"Lay down?" He came around and caught your shoulder, "I used to call in sometimes when Jacob was home sick. When he was a lot younger and… I stir up a man cup of noodles."

"You don't have to--"

"It's completely selfish," he interrupted, "it's been a long time since I had someone to take care of or at least it feels like it."

You were light-headed as you tried to stand but he kept you from getting to your feet, "I guess I can stay a little longer."

"Don't act like I don't owe you," he tutted, "now relax. I'll get you some soup. You need something in your system. I got some anti-nausea pills in the cupboard, too."

"Thanks but you don't owe me anything. I'm gonna owe you big."

"Why don't we just call it even then," he backed up, "seeing as that's my bed and my couch, it's really not made for sleeping." He stretched his arms and his shoulders cracked, "especially at my age."

🖤

You stayed another night. You tried to convince Andy to let you take the couch instead but he was a lawyer and rarely lost an argument. It was easier to eat by the evening but you were still dizzy and you couldn't stop yawning. You'd never been so tired.

Despite your uneasiness at overstaying your welcome, you slept more heavily than before. Your guilt didn't keep you awake for long as you sank into a deep sleep and you woke slowly, a murmur escaping your lips as grogginess weighed you down. You were still so very tired but it was already morning.

You stretched and your wrist caught. You winced and tugged at your arm. You sat up in horror as you stared at the metal cuff attached to the hoop drilled into the headboard. You tugged until your arm hurt and your hand throbbed. What the fuck.

"Andy! Andy! What--"

"Shhhhh," Andy hushed you as he entered, "it's okay, you're okay."

"No, I'm not. What did you do?" You pulled again and the metal pinched your skin.

"You're going to hurt yourself," he said calmly.

"Unlock it. Let me go," you struggled as you kicked off the blankets, "Andy, what the fuck?"

"Hey, don't talk like that. It's...nasty."

"I don't understand," you began to pant, "why are you doing this?"

The panic crawled like tendrils up your neck and back. You twisted and pulled but the metal cuff didn't budge. You felt the bed shift and Andy grabbed your shoulder. He forced you down, pinning your other hand beside your head.

"I'm taking care of you," he said, "don't be so ungrateful."

"I can take care of myself. Let me go, please."

"No, you need me," he snarled, "like I need you."

"Andy, you're wrong--"

"Stop!" He covered your mouth, "stop! You don't know what you need. Now be still. Be quiet." He squeezed until your jaw hurt, "don't make this difficult."

He slowly lifted his hand and you didn’t move. You stared at his hand then looked at his face. There was a desperate anger in the depths of his oceanic eyes. He sat back and his jaw clenched as he watched you.

"I'm going to make breakfast. Be good. You need to eat." He backed off the bed and went to the door, "I mean it."

He left you and you listened until pans clinked and clanged in the kitchen below. You folded your thumb against your palm and tried to wiggle free of the cuff. It was too tight. There was only one other way out and you couldn't do it alone.

"HELP! HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE!" You screamed, "someone help me!"

The footsteps hammered up the stairs and Andy stormed in. He grabbed you and clamped his hand over your mouth again.

"Listen, no one can hear you, you got that? Windows are soundproof, but I really don't want to hear it so it's up to you if I gag you."

You blinked and your lip trembled against his hand. Your eyes rounded and you nodded stiffly. He tore his hand away and sighed as he clapped his hands on his legs in frustration.

"Good," he said quietly, "now, let's just hope," he stood and strode to the door, "that the bacon didn't burn."

🖤

You fell asleep again shortly after eating, even with the adrenaline and panic surging through your veins. You woke again in the afternoon. Your limbs were heavy but the fever was gone and your stomach felt better but you were still terribly tired. 

Andy was there. He had a leather file in his lap as he looked over papers and scratched his beard. He sensed your movement and looked over at you.

"Hungry?" He asked, "you slept through lunch."

"No," you smelled your sweat on the duvet, "but… can I have a shower? I haven't...since I got here."

"A shower?" He closed the folder and stood. He set it down and pursed his lips as he thought. "Fifteen minutes," he said as he dug around in his pocket, "I'll be here."

He unlocked the cuff and you rubbed your wrist as you sat up. He stayed close as you rose and stayed between you and the bedroom door as he pointed you to the bathroom.

"I don't have much for you to wear yet but you can take another one of my shirts," he said.

You nodded and closed the door between you. You closed your eyes and pressed yourself to the wind. How was this the same man that you spoke to that day at the cemetery?

🖤

He slept beside you that night. You were on your side, your arm bound again by the cuff with the pillow between it and your head. You were uncomfortable, more so with him against your back. He wore only a pair of boxers. You shied away when he undressed and never looked at him again.

You dozed despite your nerves. You couldn't shake the drowsiness. You just felt more and more tired. When you opened your eyes, his arm was around you. He ran his fingers over your stomach, fingers crawling beneath the baggy tee shirt. You shivered and he nuzzled the back of your neck.

"I was thinking… well, I've been thinking for a while now, how happy we could be," he said, "I'm still young enough to try again, do it right and you… you're young, ready." His hand brushed up to your chest and he cupped your tit, "you're kind, you're caring, you're...beautiful. You’re my second chance."

“Andy,” your voice was brittle as your pulse beat furiously, “what you’re doing, it’s not right. You need to let me go.”

He went rigid and his hand stopped. He unsnaked his arm from around you and the springs coiled as he fell heavily onto his back. In the silence, you could only hear his steady breaths and a low growl.

“No, I’m helping you,” he said, “like you’ve helped me.”

“Andy, please,” you eased onto your back and looked over at him, “this isn’t how you fix this.”

“How do I?” he snarled, “huh? How? You don’t know!” he sat up and glared down at you, “you can’t know.”

“You think hurting me is helping me? That’s what you’re doing.”

“No, no, no,” he bent his legs as he grasped his head and gripped it as if it would crack, “No! I haven’t hurt you. I feed you, I keep you clean, I… I take care of you!”

“Andy,” you reached over shakily and touched his bare shoulder, “this isn’t what I want and I know you don’t want it either. You want someone who really loves you--”

“You love me!” he turned so quickly you yelped. He gripped your jaw tightly as he held himself against you, “you love me,” he pressed his lips to yours and you murmured in surprise, “you love me,” it was a maddened chant as he pulled back, “...love me.”

“And--”

His hand flew up to smother you and he lifted himself over you. His knees pressed to your legs until they parted and his other hand explored your curves through the rumpled cotton. You squeaked and tensed against his touch, your wrist chafing from the cuff.

“Shhh,” he hushed as he pushed the shirt up.

He kept his hand on your mouth as he slid down your body and left a trail of kisses along your torso as he unveiled it. He bunched the tee above your chest and bent to dote on your tits. You shuddered and pushed on his head as you mumbled into his palm.

His fingers tickled along your side and hooked into the side of the drawstring shorts he gave you. He tugged until the string snapped and edged them down as he continued to tend to your chest. You kicked around him and felt his bulge as he leaned into you.

He ripped his hand away and sat up. He grabbed the waist of the shorts and wrenched them down your legs, quickly taking his between them again. You wriggled and batted out at his chest as his thumbs pressed against your hip bones and his hands crept down to knead your thighs.

“I can start again,” he brushed his fingers down your vee and you trembled as they danced along your cunt.

“No, Andy, please, you can still stop--”

“Shhhh, honey,” he pushed between your folds and you gasped, “it’s okay. I’ll still take care of you,” he glided over your cunt and made you twitch, “and the baby.”

He poked along your entrance and you whined helplessly as you reached to the cuff and pulled with both arms. Every muscles in your strained as you tried to break free of the headboard. He pushed a finger inside of you and you cried out.

“Andy, stop, please, no--”

He added another finger and slipped them in and out of you as he purred. You looked at his face and it sent a chill through you. His eyes were dark and clung to the movement of his hand, his brow set and his jaw squared with his intent. He wasn’t the grieving widower, he wasn’t the man lost and lonely, he was a monster.

“That’s it,” he turned his hand and flicked your clit with his thumb, “you want me. I feel it.”

You looked away as your wetness spread to his knuckles and along your folds. He kept his thumb moved as he curled his fingers inside of you and the pressure built as the tip of his touch. You gritted your teeth and shook your head helplessly.

“No,” you whispered, “no, no, no…”

He took his hand away suddenly and you felt empty. He lifted himself on his knees and rolled down his boxers. You didn’t look at him, you couldn’t, you only saw the silhouette of his nudity.

He pushed your thighs apart and spread himself over you, his elbow just beside you as he felt around between your bodies. His hot breath grazed your cheek and he kissed it firmly as he angled his tip between your folds. Your thighs clenched around him in a futile act of resistance as he found your entrance.

He pushed inside slowly and brought his other arm up beside you. He forced your head straight and you squeezed your eyes shut. He cradled your head between his hands and his lips brushed yours as he spoke, “open your eyes. Look at me.”

“Andy,” you murmured as he slowly got deeper, “please--”

“Look at me,” he demanded, “look at me!”

Your eyes snapped open and met his stormy blue ones. He bucked his hips and impaled you completely. You exclaimed and grasped his thick bicep in shock, your other hand balled above the cuff. Your legs bent around his thick thighs as you tried to stop him.

“God, you feel so good,” he purred as he began to rock, “don’t I feel good too?”

Your lashes fluttered away the rising tears and you sucked your lip in to keep from making a sound. You could look away as he held your head straight, his hand clamping around your jaw as he other arm bent beneath yours.

The room echoed with the noise of his flesh slapping yours as he sped up, his grunts and groans interlaced with the sickening symphony. You quivered as his pelvis rubbed against yours and stoked the heat in your core. You could not hold back the illicit response of your body as he ravaged it.

Your breath grew heavier and he gulped it down as he kissed you again, forcing his tongue between your lips as he devoured you. The whole bed moved in time with your body and the headboard knocked against the wall as his thrusts came closer and closer together and he buried himself as deep as he could with each tilt of his hips.

He drew his mouth away and pressed his cheek to yours as his muscles tensed and he puffed into the pillow, “this is it, honey. It all starts here.”

“Ah, please…” your voice fizzled and smothered your moan against his shoulder as your body spasmed. Your legs bent around him firmly as you orgasmed and your body arched beneath his desperately.

“That’s it,” he cooed, “that’s it. You take me so well. See… it was meant to… be.”

His breaths grew more rampant with his rhythm. His hand slipped down to cradle your cheek and his thumb stroked your flesh tenderly as he dipped into you over and over. His deep groans grew louder around you. He jerked into you sharply and his motion stuttered. He gripped your hip and held you down as he sheathed himself in your walls. 

He quaked as his hips slowed and he flooded you. He exhaled and as his lungs emptied, the strength left him entirely and he lowered himself over you weakly. His body pressed yours into the mattress, your sweat and his turned sticky as the air settled over you.

He stayed like that for what felt like forever. He moved slowly to lift himself up and he sat back, watching his dick slide out of you. Your thighs shook as your legs splayed around him. You felt his cum leak from you and he dragged his fingers along your cunt and scooped it back into you, coating his fingers in as he pushed them past your entrance once more. He smiled at the wet sounds of your cunt.

“That felt like the one,” he said, “but we can try again...”

He pulled his fingers out of you and admired the slickness that glistened over them. He reached down and gripped his dick, half-soft and spent. He winced as he began to stroke himself and let out stifled moans between his teeth.

“Maybe this time,” he purred as he angled himself inside of you again and lifted your legs against his torso. He bit his lips as he trembled, his cock oversensitive and overworked, “as many times as it takes, honey.”

[omegalomania]

hello 8 days ago you drew some very cool mania fan art and you said the narrative isn’t relevant but have you considered…..it is relevant to me ? (please share)

dklfldkjflkd ALL RIGHT WELL if you're asking thennnnn

oh my god this got so fucking long. im putting it under a cut because it contains a) a fuckload of text and b) some concept drawings and stuff that i threw in there cause why not.

(for anyone unaware, the ask is referring to this art i posted without much context a little while ago, though it also relates to this one.)

so basically back when mania was like, the new hotness, there was only one big like popular bandom au based around it and frankly i fucking hated it. i dont want to get too mean but i really did think it kind of sucked and it felt like a bunch of missed opportunities and it fizzled out cause the creators sucked anyway but even on a conceptual level i was just so over it. so a couple weeks ago i get heated about this in the groupchat and go "what if i just invented a different mania au, but better." and no one told me to do it but i just went for it anyway because this is what happens when you leave me alone in a room i just start Making Shit

so behold, an au that caters to no one except me, birthed from spite. literally all the file names for these are labeled "mania spite au" and so on. this came from a desire to meld themes from the album into a semi-cohesive narrative

so whats the narrative? GLAD YOU ASKED

for the central "antagonist" i decided to use the mania entertainment group concept, which is something fob toyed with in marketing the album but never really did anything with. so, fine. here's this massive entertainment-based company and they're fucking huge. they're fucking massive. think disney, basically.

employees at this fuckoff massive company include 3 ordinary dudes: patrick, a sound engineer; joe, an electrical engineer; and pete, a dude with a position in admin.

for various reasons all three of them are just kind of drifting in this state of not really wanting to be there but not having a lot of choice. patrick is neutral about the work he does but isn't really in love with it, mostly just keeps his head down and minds his own. joe hates the work, hates the ethos, hates the ideology of the company works for, but seeing as MEG is so big there's basically no alternatives so he has to grit his teeth and do it. pete basically inherited this big shot position in administration but feels fundamentally directionless and didn't actually engage in the work out of a genuine passion for it buuuut it's not like he can just walk away from a really good position especially without a fallback plan.

that's the backdrop. inciting incident?

an interdimensional demigod gets stuck in MEG's basement.

kinda anyway.

theres a rupture in the fabric of spacetime. and out spills this guy, the demigod of instability. since he's, you know, fundamentally unstable, he basically broke into this reality by mistake and gets himself stuck. and because MEG is a big shitty company and their only morality is profit incentive they look at this dude and go "hey, free power source” because hes yknow, an interdimensional minor deity so he’s kind of got a lot of power at his disposal at baseline.

so yes theres our setup. three guys working at this shit company, and one glitched up demigod who's stuck being exploited directly by said company. and he doesnt get a name right away i guess cause hes a freakin god Why Would He but yeah that guys andy.

also fun fact those glowy glyphs hes got instead of tattoos are the same fictional language we see the little girl in the young and menace video speaking.

SO anyway andy is stuck in the basement of a fuckoff massive company having his power leached/exploited and he's desperate to escape. so one night he takes advantage of the fact that hes literally the avatar for the very concept of instability and blows the building power, in the process zapping the three dudes closest to his physical location. like so.

dudes all black out, pass out, and when they wake up they're subtly different though they don't know it yet. joe, patrick, and pete have all become god-infected and since andy is a deity of instability, they’ve all been infected with subsets of that power. each of these powers relate to their mentalities at the point of infection as well as certain lines and themes that exist on the album.

joe is infected with temporal instability. glitching forward and backward in time, temporal looping, shit like that. this is mostly restricted to his own personal timeline; he can affect his own future, not anyone else’s, cause he isnt exactly a god here just a god-infected mortal.

patrick is infected with kinetic instability. basically this means he gets control over the way things move; speeding or slowing momentum, switching directions ,etc.

pete is infected with material instability. essentially, he can alter and phase states of matter. he can’t fundamentally alter the molecules in an object, but he can alter the way those molecules are arranged.

side effects of god infection include but are not limited to: hearing the voices of other god-infectees in your brain! hearing that god try to communicate with you in Your God Damn Dreams! accumulating more and more otherworldly traits the more you use your weird new god infection powers! and MORE

the long and short of it is that andy uses this newly established mental link to say “im stuck in your shitty company’s basement please help” and eventually they do that. they break this guy out and in the process end up on the wrong side of the mania entertainment group, the law, the entire city, the world...basically they’re fucked and literally all they have is each other.

i also wanted to draw predominantly from the album themes, at least as i interpreted them. i figure it’d be pretty tasteless to do a straight up narrative About a mental breakdown. instead i look at the elements present in the album as stuff that can be paralleled in a narrative. no, the album does not deal literally with being some kind of extradimensional entity, but it does deal with the idea of feeling heavily isolated, misunderstood, and like you have no friends. the album does not deal with going on the run from a super-powerful corporate conglomerate that wants you and your friends in their custody, but it does deal with the idea that society expects you to adhere to certain strictures, and deviation from those will be punished. mania as an album discusses what it is to feel dissonant compared to those around you - how you can feel innately monstrous, or incorrect, or like your flaws make you fundamentally impossible to love. that’s part of the reason i like the idea of physical transformation being displayed on each of the guys as they use their otherworldly god infection powers more and more; as they become a little more decoupled from how reality expects them to be, they start to look less “perfect” in the eyes of how the world expects them to behave. but it’s those flaws that give them strength, bind them together, and allow them to relate to one another. not fitting in, which makes them so miserable at first, becomes crucial to how they eventually become drawn to one another.

if this whole thing sounds like an excuse for a cosmic found family trope youre right thats what this is because who the fuck do you think youre talking to.

in order to make that big long illustration i posted earlier, i basically drew a bunch of busts as concepting, got carried away, and then cropped them down. here are the full images if anyone is curious.

interdimensional demigod of instability andy. the glowing sigils all over him shift and swirl and never really sit in one place which means i don’t have to worry about consistency when i draw them ho ho

joe gets this inky pinky distortion/corruption deal the more he uses his temporal instability powers. it never consumes him completely and it doesn’t hurt or affect how he moves around but it can look pretty alarming, especially when wee little bits start flaking off him.

patrick’s design is perhaps obviously based on those llama things that fob got sued over lol cause a) i think patrick getting horns is great and b) again i wanted to draw from the album’s marketing. using his kinetic instability powers starts with sprouting horns and then comes the teeth, the fur, etc. idk how far i want this kind of corruption to go but it could be gnarly if he becomes a big furry werebeast at some point like that’d be fun.

pete’s design doesn’t go as hard as i originally wanted it to but i liked how it turned out too much to alter it. he gets four stubby little horns and volcanic veins like lightning bolts jagging up all over his skin. the veins are the giveaway that he’s using his material instability powers, but the more he uses them he eventually gets himself some horns too.

all four of the guys get rad glowing eyes cause im a sucker for that shit

ALL RIGHT I THINK THATS IT. again i literally just invented this thing during my lunch hour at work out of spite and its just something i think is fun to dick around with. i dont have any serious thoughts about it or whatever but im flattered literally anyone is curious about it so THANK YOU FOR ASKING

[darthmaulification]

din djarin nsfw alphabet

A/N: i STILL have writer’s block when it comes to all the other stuff i have to get done that it’s INFURIATING. 🙄😤😡 i literally write two (2) sentences, and then my head says “no thoughts, all done :)”.

so anons still waiting on your stuff, have faith, i will get them done eventually!! 🙏🙏😭😭

but i want to get more stuff out more regularly, so take another nsfw alphabet, my brain is melting. 💗

(again, i imply fem!afab!reader and also, there is sensitive content (abortion) under X)

nsfw below the cut! 😘

A = aftercare (what are they like after sex?)

Din may be a bit unsure at first, but he is so sweet when it comes to aftercare. He’s got a caring nature already, and when it comes to making sure you’re clean, comfortable, and content after sex, Din is very soft and gentle. He’ll be asking you the whole time about what you need, how you’re feeling, complimenting and praising you for being perfect. Once he’s done making sure you’re okay, Din will conclude every time with kisses and cuddles, holding you close to him all the while whispering to you in Basic and Mando’a about how much he loves you.

B = body part (what’s their favorite body part of their partner? what about themselves?)

Honestly, Din has spent so long without showing someone else any part of him, that he is fairly insecure about how he looks. He’s a tad... embarrassed by his body, because he wants it to be perfect for you, but he doesn’t feel like it is (of course, you think he’s perfect). Din has a lot of self-criticisms, he worries that he’s too old for you, that his nose is too big for your liking, that he’s got a soft tummy and not like men your age. So Din doesn’t have a favorite body part, he’ll just like anything that you like.

Now on you... Din is a big fan of your face. He comes from a culture where one’s face is kept hidden unless you’re family or spouse, so to have you in all your glory and beauty is almost overwhelming to him. He loves your eyes especially (windows to the soul, and all), how they’re so expressive, what they look like when he’s fucked you cockdumb... all glossy and hazed... Din also loves your lips in particular too, the smile that tugs them up, what they look like when you say his name... and for another obvious reason that tends to happen when you’re below his belt on your knees...

(Also Din is a boobie man, full stop).

C = cum (basically anything to do with cum)

Din cums a lot, and he wants it all over you. If you let him, he’ll splatter his nut on your face, belly, breasts, ass, and other places that he loves and wants marked. He likes seeing you all messy and sticky, covered in the stuff that he creates just for you. Din goes kinda feral though if you beg him to cum inside you, allow him to bottom out and let loose past your tight cervix straight into your womb... makes his brain fizzle out. Also, Din’s cum tastes abnormally sweet, almost too sugary, much like the sweet man himself.

D = dirty secret (what’s their dirty secret?)

Din wants to be cucked. Like he really wants to watch someone else fuck you (consensually, of course), and him not being able to do anything about it. It’d be such a fucking tease and edge for him that the thought makes him feel some sort of way in his pants.

Also, not so much of a secret but still dirty, Din can play the role of a dom to a T, but in his heart, he’s a sub. Just take the reins on day, there’s not much he’d be compelled to do to stop you.

E = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Most, if not all, of Din’s sexual experiences before you were clumsy, quick fucks with sex workers at brothels or cantinas. He had most of them when the desire became to high to ignore, so really the closest around satisfied him enough. And although most of the conquests had no specialness or emotion to them, they did shape the way Din moved around bodies, aided in his ability to please and such. So Din is rather experienced, he knows what he’s doing and how to make things steamy, but he’s really never been able to truly connect with someone before. Even though he’s well versed in the art of sex, there’s a few learning curves for him to accomplish, particularly making sure he meets your needs the way you want them met, not how he thinks you may want to do things.

F = favorite position (what’s their favorite position?)

By far, Din loves nothing more but to bend you over a table, or the console board of the Razor Crest, and pound into you from behind like there’s no tomorrow. He loves to have the warmth of your ass, heavy and plush, against his pelvis all while he’s up to the hilt inside your core. Din also likes the control it gives him, having you squirming and moaning under him, one of his hands heavy on your back keeping you down while the other squeezes your thighs and hips, or plays with your clit. Din might also get a bit grabby with your hair, pulling back your head enough so that he can nibble at your neck and hiss all the dirty things he wants into your ear.

The close second for his favorite position though is having you tied up to the bed, wrists and ankles bound. It’s one of Din’s favorite sights in the entire galaxy.

G = goofy (are they the more serious type, or more humorous?)

Din is serious about making sure he’s doing all he can to make you a moaning, cockdumb mess, that’s for damn sure. He’s very driven in that regard, serious about the task at hand and all the things he has to do to make sure you know just how much he loves you. Din isn’t a stoic robot though, he’s too vibrant and compassionate of a man for that, so he’ll being saying sweet things to get you to blush and smile, grinning against the shell of your ear before kissing your neck, maybe nipping playfully at your ass or stomach too... Din knows how to give a good time.

H = hair (how well-groomed are they?)

Din is a functionalist, so he likes to keep his bush below the belt to a minimum, or at least manageable, so he trims it and sometimes shaves it fully. Though he does have a tendency to let it grow a bit if he’s having a dry spell or if he just doesn’t have the motivation... but once the tuft starts catching on the zip to his pants (he goes commando, the dork), that’s when Din knows he’s got to shave. All his body hair elsewhere; head, face, legs, back, arms, etc, Din doesn’t care much about except his moustache and tasteful stubble which he does really like to keep. Of course, Din keeps everything as clean as a whistle.

On his partners, Din doesn’t have much of a preference, but he does lean towards someone who at least keeps their stuff trimmed (and clean, of course). However, he won’t force you to do anything, it’s your body, your decisions.

I = intimacy ( how intimate are they during sex?)

Just... so intimate. Of course, Din fucks like a beast in rut, but he’s so consuming and raw with it, it’s nothing short of perfect. Din wears his heart on his sleeve, so sex is constant “I love yous” in every word and action, even when it’s all vulgarity and dirty and horny, but it��s love nonetheless. You’re able to feel it from how he presses against you, molds against you like liquid heat, how his hands make your body his own, how he kisses you with stars in his eyes, how he tells you over and over again both vocally and silently, “Thank you”.

J = jack off (do they masturbate?)

Mm... it depends on his mood. He masturbated more when he was younger, when he had more time and drive to do so. Though once he got older, and life happened, and he’s almost non-stop running around chasing quarries... Din’s just too darn tired. It got even less so when Grogu came into his life, because oh my Maker the horror Din would feel if somehow his son caught him in the act. But Din is only human, and has that accursed Mandalorian sex drive, so sometimes the urge does rear it’s head, and he’s gotta make his hand and penis best friends again.

Doesn’t help when you’re occupying his thoughts either.

K = kinks (any kinks?)

Y’know that cliché where it’s like “normal looking person whose an absolute freak in the sheets”? Yeah, that’s Din. This man is the epitome of that. Here’s his kinks:

Bondage. Din really likes the sight of you tied up on the bed, at his mercy like a bunny in a hunter’s trap. He wants to have you bound by your wrists and ankles, maybe even tying you to the bedposts, and fucking you senseless while you beg to be able to touch him too. Din favors using handcuffs (technically binders, but Star Wars lingo is silly sometimes), but he’ll use whatever you’re okay with too. And, of course, if bondage isn’t your thing, he won’t ever force you to do it. (psst, Din doesn’t mind being tied up either)

Spanking. Kind of the only aspect of the “S” part of BDSM that Din will every really partake in. He likes landing a good few firm swats on your flanks, likes seeing your ass and thighs jiggle from the force of it, the bright flush that may appear afterwards if you let him go at it a while. Din also likes just being able to touch your ass too, so a nice spank to your bottom becomes the physical message of “You’re in for it tonight, mesh’la”. Oh, and he’ll make you count.

Daddy kink. Oh Maker, if you call him Daddy, he’ll lose his mind. Din has such a big Daddy kink that even if you call him it in a nonsexual situation, he’ll be feeling that warmth until he’s able to steal you away and rail you good. He loves being the Daddy and you being his “Sweet girl” or “Cyar’ika”... the dynamic runs him wild.

Breeding/pregnancy kink. Din wants to fuck a baby into you so badly he dreams about it. It’s been impounded into him that family and parenthood are really big deals, so you bet your ass he wants to fulfill that part of his Creed by making sure your pussy’s stuffed, womb is filled to the brim, and your breasts are swollen and milky. Din wants so so deeply to see you pregnant with the kid that you and him make, he desperately wants a family with you.

Breast/nipple kink. Yeah, Din really really likes your tits. There’s something about the shape, the texture, size, weight, etc that activates some primal monkey part of his brain that has him drooling. Din loves to knead and fondle your breasts, roll them under his large hands, press them together, watch the soft flesh squish and mold around his fingers. He especially loves the cute nipples of yours, pinching them between his fingers, tweaking them. Din also really likes sucking on your tits, leaving marks all over them, playing with your nipples with his tongue...

L = location (favorite place to “do the do”?)

When you both have the opportunity, Din really really likes taking you in a good, proper bedroom, something that the uncomfortable, tiny bunk on the Razor Crest really doesn’t account for. If it were up to him, he’d want to spend his entire life with you in bedroom fit for a king, taking you over and over again on a mattress that feels like a cloud. It’s no shock then whenever Din actually shills out the credits (being the frugal man he is) to buy a hotel room is the sex borderline godlike.

M = motivation (what gets them turned on?)

A sure-fire way to get Din fully and completely riled up would be to wear something real scandalous. Be that a shirt that shows a tad bit more, or pants that are tight enough to reveal you aren’t wearing panties, or (Din’s favorite) a set of cute lingerie... Din will get hard in his pants. It’d be even more so if you tease him in public, but be warned he’ll fuck you mean for that.

N = NO (what’s their turn offs?)

Very early on, it was, obviously, taking off his helmet. If you asked, or Maker forbid tried, the mood would drop pretty extensively if not entirely from Din. He’d get uncomfortable, go silent, and the first time it happened, he left the room. Removal of the helmet was a very big one before he eventually showed you his face.

After you’ve been able to kiss his face over and over again and cry because you think he’s so beautiful? Nothing comes to Din’s mind really besides the kinks that are... nastier. Like literally, y’know... some other bodily... stuffs. Anyways, Din is pretty adaptable when it comes to kinks/positions and stuff. The pros of already being a kinky man...

O = oral (do they have a preference in giving/receiving?)

Okay, Din really loves his dick sucked. The way that you wrap your lips around his shaft, kiss the tip of his penis, fondle his balls, lick and slobber on him... makes his eyes roll to the back of his head. He especially loves being able to watch you try and take all of him in your throat, seeing the tears of pleasure squeeze out your eyes, the way you hollow your cheeks around him and suck. Din loves it when you go down on him.

... Now that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like going down on you. There is no place Din would want to be more than with his face between your legs, lapping at you like a starving animal. He’ll spend hours with his mouth on your cunt, swirling his tongue around your clit, driving orgasm after orgasm from you until you’re shaking from overstimulation and begging him to stop. Din loves your pussy, the way you taste and smell... drives him wild.

P = pace & PDA (are they soft, sensual, rough, or feral? are they open to displaying the relationship?)

Din will most often rail you into the mattress with a fervor. He tends to fuck hard, and he likes to play rough. The pace he keeps is something that makes you see stars every time he thrusts, when he ruts into you so hard that your entire body moves. However, Din does this all with a type of passionate sensuality that leaves you in tears, he fucks you sure, but it’s also fully fueled by unwavering love. When he’s feeling especially sentimental, Din will indulge on this love, and he’ll go slower, deeper, make you feel nothing but the weight of him.

And PDA... Well, Din doesn’t take the helmet or beskar off in public, so PDA is every time Din steps in front of you to shield you protectively, it’s when he offers to carry whatever you’re holding, it’s when he fights for you, it’s when he stands close to your side, when he sends you long side-eyed glances that make you feel the love, it’s when he nudges your shoulder with his, when he lets you wrap your fingers around his, when he drapes you with his cloak, surrounding you with him... It’s the little, subtle things, the personal things that mean you’re closer to him than anyone else.

Q = quickies (what’s their opinion on quickies?)

Maker, yes. Din becomes kinda addicted to having sex with you, so any and all chance to pull down his and yours pants and rut you both into a quick release is perfect for him. They don’t happen all that often, you’re both too busy most of the time, but if there’s a window of opportunity, Din will take it.

R = risks (are they okay with experimenting? do they take risks?)

Din’s kinda a big baby, so anything you may want to try with him in the bedroom that’s out of the norm will have him a stuttering, blushing mess. Most of the time though, once you’ve explained whatever you’re wanting enough, he’ll be down to do it because he knows you’re fine with it, and so is he. Though Din has his limits, a few things in particular that he’d never risk: safety and his Creed. He won’t ever try something that would potentially put the both of you in mortal danger, and wouldn’t do something that breaks his Code. Other than that, Din does enjoy pushing the boundaries a little once you’ve started, and he might even become more advantageous.

S = stamina (how many rounds can they last?)

Din can last long enough, that’s for sure. He’s not borderline superhuman like some other men, but Din doesn’t tap out early either. With the skill he has with his hands, he’s easily able to make you cum a couple times before he dicks you down, and sometimes he’s even able to draw out an orgasm or two when he’s balls deep inside you. It all usually depends on his energy level, if he’s pumped up and well rested, expect a long, long night, but if he’s so tired he can barely keep his eyes open, honestly he might just cum if you jerk him off a little bit.

Though sleepy sex with Din, although it’s very short, is also a bit of an exercise in absolute trust with him. He’s able to fall asleep in your arms, all worn out and buzzing from his orgasm, it makes him feel fully at peace.

T = toys (do they own/use any toys?)

Haha, no. Din is such a minimalist, he didn’t own any type of luxury like that, unless you count the handcuffs, but he technically uses those for his job. It really is he just doesn’t have the space nor the credits he’s willing to spare, and he didn’t have a partner before you so really it would’ve been pointless for him. But now that he’s got you in his life (and bed)? Yeah, Din might splurge a little bit and buy some things to make your romps a bit more... interesting. Be that a vibrator, some silky rope, a plug... just some fun things.

U = unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

He likes to tease, because edging you edges him and that satiates the deep-rooted sub inside of him. Din likes to have you begging for release just as much as he likes the feeling of his cock practically screaming to sink into your velvety core. The teasing really goes both ways, even if Din is the one who’s technically doing all of it. He also gets really into dirty talk (for as long as he can actually speak) and will be saying all sorts of nasty things in your ear like “C’mon, cyar’ika, tell me you want my fingers” or “Pretty girl, use your words. You want my cock or no?”.

V = volume (how loud or quiet are they during sex?)

Din is loud, but in a quiet type of way? He like... whisper yells, like his voice is already naturally low, so when he’s got you all in his grasps it’s like the volume of his voice doesn’t increase, but the intensity does? Din fills the room, essentially, being the only thing you hear, even over your own moans, squeals, screams, etc. It’s mostly a lot of strained dirty talk, like each word Din says to you is determined, but he’s got to push them through clenched teeth because his dick’s twitching so hard and your pussy is just too good... and shit, once you’ve drawn the first moan out of him, it’s over for him. Din will be moaning. Once he’s lost in the sauce, which happens sorta quickly, Din becomes just as incoherent as you, maybe being able to babble out something about seeing you fat with child or maybe about how well you’re swallowing up his cock, but it really devolves into lengthy, horny moans and hefty grunts. So yes, our man’s is loud.

W = wildcard (what’s a random headcanon?)

Din loves when you tell him how much you think he’s attractive. He’s spent basically his whole life with his face in a bucket and his body in armor, so he’s never gotten compliments about his authentic self before. This kind of hampered his self-confidence and racked up his insecurity? Din doesn’t necessarily have any specific qualms with how he looks, but he also is very unsure of how you think of him. So when you tell him that you love his face; his crooked, hooked nose, his soft, honey brown eyes, his patchy stubble, and even his ridiculous moustache... it makes his heart soar.

This same sentiment goes for his body too, which Din does have a couple of more prominent issues with. For one, he’s a tad soft around the middle (age + indulging himself + taking excessive off days = weight gain) which makes him feel semi-insecure about what you may think when you don’t see chiseled, perfect abs, and he’s just generally self-conscious about his age. But when you’re fine with it? When you say you find his chub endearing?? That he’s really not that old and that he shouldn’t worry about it??? Din is beyond happy.

And in a complete 180, Din has a very high sperm count. Like astronomically high. A medical marvel type of high. So... if you indulge on his desire for a big family... expect a lot of little Djarin brats really fast.

X = x-ray & x-tra (what’s underneath those clothes? any more random headcanons?”)

Din is built like a himbo. He’s built like he’d ask you what pussy size do you wear when he buys pads for you. He’s built like the dude that comes into the store you work at every so often who’s just so captivating and out of this world handsome that you stare at him as he looks at the same thing he always does, until he leaves after not buying it for the third week in a row. He has a very good figure, muscular in all the right places from a lifetime of brutal physical activity. Din’s arms and shoulders are probably his best feature, the entirety of the appendages being toned with taut, powerful muscle and perfect for holding you. His chest is quite toned as well, though his pecs are softer and have a smattering of chest hair brushed on the muscles. Although he has a relatively trim waist and a defined Adonis belt, Din’s belly is actually pretty soft. He’s like a muscular boy, but with a bit more chub (if anyone gets that reference, you’re extra sexy), so Din doesn’t have a defined set of abs. He does have a dark happy trail that leads to the special someone between his thick-muscled thighs.

He also, from time and age, has a bit of a weathered look to him that makes him look experienced and jaded. His body also has a smattering of scars, most of them old and silvered, from scuffles and fights he’s had in his past. 

Big Dick Cum Daddy Din is hung. His penis is a mouth-watering 9 inches (22.86 cm) of throbbing glory, not overly girthy (2 inches, 5.08 cm, in width) but perfect nonetheless. He has a very prominent vein on the bell end of his cock, as well as fairly defined ridges on the sides, like he’s fucking ribbed for your pleasure. His penis is actually circumcised, so the head of his cock gets especially red once you’ve got all the blood and horniness in his loins. Din’s balls are perfect too, weighty things that hang a bit lower that only shows their virility.

Din is pro-choice. He’s a firm believer in people having autonomy over their bodies and having the ability to choose. So when it comes to abortion, even though the thought admittedly makes Din a little uncomfortable, he would fully support his partner choosing to have one, if that was their decision.

Also, Din is a bisexual icon, I don’t make the rules.

Y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Yes. Ever since you come into his life, Din is horny like a teen boy all over again, it’s almost ridiculous. At the very beginning, it’s just a lot of him fantasizing about what he wants to do to you, because A) you’ve both just met, B) his Creed, and C) it’d be so embarrassing for him for you to find out how much you affect him. But once you two start getting closer, and spend weeks and months dancing around each other, Din starts to get a bit more flirty, more frisky. You definitely start noticing how much he’s wanting you, so really it comes to the point that at any time you reciprocate your feelings and consent, Din will be on you in a second. After that first time, it’s over for y’all. Din will want to fuck all the time, everywhere, whenever possible. Your pussy becomes his dick’s permanent home.

Z = zzzz (how fast do they fall asleep after?)

Din isn’t an easy sleeper in general, so after sex it’s really not much different. It always takes a while for him to fall asleep, so you’ll definitely be passed out before he even starts to feel tired. He’ll spend most of his time after making sure you’re taken care of with his exquisite aftercare, and then mumble sweet nothings to you as you fall asleep. Even after you’re out, Din will still lie awake and talk to you quietly about anything and everything that comes to mind before he eventually falls asleep too.

[storfulsten]

i crave angst so.. because of whitty's temper has he ever lashed out at the bf and accidently hurt him

ended up rambling a lot about nothing so under cut it is. proably not angsty enough so ye sorry about that I guess lol

um idk maybe? I usually don't think about things like that bc I'm boring usually just focusing on the cutesy positives lol but the potential for an accidentally bad time is certainly there, whitty's size and strength is no joke and he has to watch himself constantly around anyone and everyone, and especially with his temper sometimes, it can be a struggle I'm assuming. though I assume he wouldn't like strike or hit bf or anything directly even when angry, he could potentially take his anger out on other stuff which could collaterally lead to boyfriend getting hurt by something caused by whitty. whitty accidentally shoving bf a bit too hard to get away from him could also lead to bf getting hurt by getting shoved into something or tripping or whatever. also if whitty were to run too hot due to anger he could burn bf on accident if bf were to be stubborn trying to grab onto him to calm him down or something like that. as for your ask specifically, I don't know for sure if anything's happened, but yeah maybe. like at the start of their overall relationship when whitty was way more likely to get angry and stuff idk. as for what would happen surrounding that, idk, whitty would probably feel super guilty once he'd realise bf's been hurt, and his anger would fizzle out very quickly in favor of  taking care of bf and making sure he's ok lol. bf would overall try to be understanding and reassuring bc it was an accident and whitty didn't mean to do it and all that, but he'd still feel kinda hurt I guess. but then they'd have a heart to heart and talk it out, which would help both of their feelings of guilt and hurt and all that jazz. idk not very interesting or original, but if anything has happened at some point, which is very possible, it probably sucked but they worked it out probably lol

the one time that he was genuinely pissed and did hurt bf a bit that for sure happened though was that one time bf decided to be really annoying and bother him in the alleyway aka when they met. whitty did explode, and while the blast was mostly contained within his void zone or whatever thus being greatly dampened, it still sent both bf and gf flying kinda lol. they both got some pretty nasty bruises and ringing in their ears for a while afterwards, but nothing that wouldn't heal in a few weeks time lol. but they're way past that though, not much angst or bad feelings lingering from that really tbh, like yeah it sucked at the time but if it didn't happen bf wouldn't have forced whitty to move in with him and they wouldn't have gotten to know eachother and fallen in love and all that corny stuff ha

[sir-subpar]

Where have you been? (1)

*This takes place in the Cursed!Bf au. This is pretty focused on Pico's point of view. Not a lot of shipping in this chapter, but I had a lot of fun writing this. This will be a 2-parter. Btw, swear words.*

Pico had challenged Boyfriend to another rap battle for fun and awaited his arrival. He was late, but they did plan to meet up at 5:00 pm so Pico figured it was just rush hour traffic holding him up. So he waited patiently. Minutes turned to hours, and the sun had set below the horizon. Pico tried to text him, but got no response. This was bullshit. He waited for hours like a fool and now B was ghosting him? If he didn't want to rap why didn't he just cancel? 

Pico grit his teeth in frustration as he got into his car. He began driving to Boyfriend's and Girlfriend's house. His grip on the steering wheel was unnecessarily tight. Sure, maybe he was overreacting a little. It was just a rap battle, but it angered him that B had wasted his time. He could have done something to let him know that they had to cancel. So in the moment, telling him off just sounded cathartic. He muttered random obscenities under his breath, as if reciting how he was gonna tell him off.

By the time he had reached the house Bf and Gf shared together it was dark out, some stars had started making their mark on the blackened sky. Pico could see the living room light was on. Good, they were home. Pico slammed the car's door, then walked up the little path to the house's front door. He knocked on the door and waited. He tapped his foot impatiently. He had spent his whole afternoon waiting for this guy to show up so the idea of waiting any longer annoyed the hell out of him.

 He could hear the door being unlocked and was about to start his angry rant when he saw it was Girlfriend at the door. The look on her face was odd, she looked surprised and… worried? That seemed off to Pico, as she usually opened the door with more enthusiasm no matter who was there. She was wearing a red crop top and black sweatpants, her comfy clothes.

 "... Pico? What are you doing here?" She asked, her tone came off as nervous. "I just wanna ask Boyfriend something." He decided not to yell at Girlfriend, she wasn't the one he was pissed at anyway. "Oh… He isn't with you? He doesn't… live here anymore." 

Just like that, all the anger built up in Pico had just fizzled. Replaced with confusion and shock. And a little bit of worry. "Why doesn't he live here??" Pico asked, what was going on? "Bf and I… we broke up. He left a few weeks ago and I haven't seen him since." She seemed nervous, she avoided making eye contact as she spoke. She left fidgeting with her hair, a nervous habit of hers. 

"So you don't know where he is, huh?" Pico asked, he too, started feeling nervous. 

"I haven't seen him since we broke up. He left most of his stuff here too. Even his phone. I figured he had run off to stay with you but I guess that's not the case." Girlfriend continued. Pico's worry only grew from there. He put his hands in his pockets and awkwardly continued their conversation. "How long has this been going on? Like, when was the last time you saw him?"  Pico had to know. How long had he been out of the loop here? Girlfriend looked him in the eyes, almost shamefully. "Two weeks." 

Pico couldn't help but be shocked by this. "Do you know anyone else he might have talked to? Anyone he might be staying with right now?" Anyone who would know where he is? That was what he really wanted to know. Where could he have gone? Girlfriend shook her head. "No, I don't know who he'd go to other than you. Most people we know don't really like him that much as far as I know." Pico couldn't help but grow more worried. This just wasn't like B… was he in trouble? "Well.. I'm gonna try to find out where he is. You wanna help?" Pico gestured towards his car, thinking they could ask around. Girlfriend averted her gaze, once again avoiding eye contact. "I'm pretty sure I'm the last person he wants to see.." 

Pico couldn't argue with that. Hell, when he and Bf broke up they still kept in contact to some degree. Boyfriend completely ghosting someone was rare, so he must've really wanted to avoid her. "Yeah… I guess that makes sense. Uh, have a good night." Pico and Girlfriend shared goodbyes and went their separate ways. Pico never liked being alone with her, to be honest. It was always awkward, now it was made worse with Boyfriend being who knows where. Pico drove off in his car, contemplating what he should do. 'Maybe I should just call some of B's friends. He might just be staying at one of their places.' He thought to himself. 

Pico had to think about who Boyfriend trusted the most (not counting himself or Gf in this case). He started thinking of people B had introduced him to. 'I have Hex's number, he's friendly, maybe Bf talked to him? It's worth a shot.' Pico scrolled through his contacts until he found Hex's number. The phone dialed for a few seconds, then he heard a robotic voice greet him. "Hello friend!" Hex exclaimed, enthusiastic as always. Pico wasn't really sure if he'd consider himself as Hex's 'friend' per say, but he never disliked the guy. 

"Hey Hex, it's Pico." 

"Greetings Pico! Haven't heard from you in a while! How are you?" 

"I'm alright, thanks. I actually need to ask you something. Could you help me with something?"

"You sound worried. How can I help?"

"I know this might sound random but… is Boyfriend staying with you by chance?" Pico nervously tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. He hoped that by some chance that maybe Hex knew something.

"No, why?" Just like that, Pico's hope was dashed. Despite that, he decided to fill Hex in on the situation. Maybe having another person looking out for B would help their chances of finding him.

"Well, he and Girlfriend split up 2 weeks ago and he just kinda… disappeared. I've tried to reach out to him but he's not responding. Gf said she has no idea where he is."

" I'm sorry, I don't know any more than you do."

 Pico let out a small sigh. "Yeah, I'm worried about him. Hey, if you see him, will you let me know?" 

"I will."

"Thank you, I appreciate it." Pico was about to hang up the phone when Hex said one last thing. 

"Actually, my friend Whitty sometimes hangs out with Boyfriend. I'll call and ask him if he knows where Boyfriend is." Hex sounded hopeful, which made Pico feel a little better. "Thanks, Hex. Let me know what he says."

"Will do! Bye for now!" 

"Bye."

Pico hung up. Deciding to drive home for the time being. He couldn't help but suddenly wonder though… who was Whitty? The name sounded familiar, but he couldn't recall meeting someone named Whitty. Maybe Bf had mentioned the guy to Pico before. Regardless, if this guy knew anything about Bf, he'd take it. 

Pico got home and felt exhausted. He kicked his shoes off at the front door, and dragged his feet as he walked towards his bedroom. He changed into some pajamas and started preparing to sleep. Part of him wanted to stay up and wait to hear back from Hex, but he was tired, and he needed to rest. He'd continue his search after getting some sleep, he decided. Pico pulled his bedsheets over his body, closed his eyes, and eventually drifted off to sleep. 

…

Pico got up the next morning at around 7:30 am. He got dressed, brushed his hair and teeth, all that usual morning routine stuff. Then, just as he was about to start calling more people to see if they knew anything about Bf, he got a call from Hex.

"Hello? Hex?"

"Pico!" Hex yelled, sounding excited. "I have good news!" Now Pico was beginning to feel excited. "I talked to my friend Whitty. He said he saw Bf a few days ago!" 

"Does he know where B is now?" Pico was nervously fidgeting with the collar of his shirt. He wasn't entirely sure why, but ever since his conversation with Girlfriend, he just had a gut feeling that something was wrong. He hoped it was just paranoia. "Does he know where Bf is now?" Pico asked. 'Please say yes.' He pleaded in his mind. "Hang on, let me ask him." Hex replied, then his voice sounded distant. He was talking to someone in person, their conversation muffled. "He said no, but he saw Bf in the same general area a few times last week. Maybe all three of us should go there and look for him together! Like a search party!" Hex sounded hopeful, and honestly it wasn't a bad idea. Pico took a deep breath. This was a good thing, this narrowed the search a bit. Pico reminded himself. "Okay, let's do it." He said, feeling determined. "I'll send you the address so we can meet up. See you there!" Hex proclaimed. "Thanks, I'll be there." Pico hung up, then rushed to get his keys, his gun, and other supplies then got in his car. Hex, as promised, sent him the address. Pico entered it into his phone's navigation system and drove there. It was in an oddly run-down neighborhood, with rundown buildings and dark alleys. He wondered what Bf would be doing there. He honestly didn't like the idea of parking his car in this neighborhood, do you worried that it would get stolen or broken into. So he parkes a little ways away, and walked the rest. It was for the best. 

He walked to their agreed meet up spot. The sidewalk was in poor condition, as well as most of the buildings around him. Cracked and discolored walls, boarded up windows, shattered glass and trash was all over the place. The street alone looked as though the city gave up on it. This whole place was run down. Even one of the street lamps was knocked over, luckily it was the morning so it didn't matter. 

Pico could see Hex's monitor head and basketball jersey from a distance. Said robot noticed him and waved to him. He saw someone else there with him, presumably Whitty. Upon closer inspection, Pico noticed a few things about Whitty. The first being that he was fucking tall as hell! Pico knew that he was short in comparison to most people but even so, this dude was TALL. Pico standing at his full height wasn't even half this guy's size. He had to be close to 9 feet tall. The next thing he noticed was the fact that his head was a bomb. His eyes were orange and glowed. Pico couldn't help but stare at the guy. When did Bf come into contact with this guy? How did they meet?

"Hey." Said the tall bomb-headed man. Pico flinched slightly, realizing he must have noticed him staring. His voice was kind of gruff, but not the usual kind of gruff. It reminded Pico of an electric guitar for some reason. Though he figured it probably was best not to say that out loud. Pico snapped out of his thoughts and finally replied. "Hey, I'm Pico. I'm guessing you're Whitty?" Pico held out his hand to shake Whitty's, the taller man returned the gesture. "Yeah, that's me." When their hands touched, Pico was surprised by how warm Whitty's hand was. It was definitely hotter than his own human hand. Not to mention how smooth his skin was, it felt somewhat like metal, but not quite. He kind of wanted to keep holding it just so he could examine it more, but he figured that would be weird to do to a guy he just met. So he let go.

 "So… you saw Bf around here?" Pico asked, and decided it was time to start their search. "We crossed paths a few times but every time he ran away. He seemed… upset." Whitty explained, somewhat trailing off towards the end of his sentence. He too, seemed like he was worried about Boyfriend. Pico wondered how close they were. "Can you show us where you last saw him?" Hex asked, a question mark appearing on his screen. Whitty nodded "Yeah, follow me." He turned on his heels and began walking in front of them. He seemed confident, like he knew the area well. Pico and Hex quickly followed.

 It was mostly quiet between them, Hex played some simple tune to break the silence. Something Pico appreciated. He felt a little awkward, he didn't know anything about Whitty, but apparently he was a friend of Bf's. He quickened his pace a bit so he could walk next to Whitty, he decided to break the silence between them. "So… how'd you meet Bf?" Whitty looked at Pico with an unreadable expression. "He challenged me to a rap battle." Pico chuckled at Whitty's answer and replied jokingly with "Ah, so the same way he meets everyone." Whitty chuckled. "Yeah, pretty much." He could hear Hex laugh a bit too. It really was the way he met most people. "So, how long have you known each other?" Pico asked. "Hmm… I think months now, almost a year. What about you? You two seem close." Whitty looked at Pico quizzically. Pico rubbed the back of his neck "Aw geez, a really long time. Since we were kids." Whitty's eyes widened in surprise. "Wow. So you're really close then huh? That explains a lot actually."  Pico tilted his head in curiosity. What did he mean by that? "Yeah? Like what?"  Whitty shrugged. "I dunno… B talks about you sometimes. He told me several times that I should meet you. Said he thought we'd get along." Whitty chuckled. "He always looked so happy when he talked about you.." 

Pico couldn't help but feel flattered, but he also felt a little jealous. Bf told Whitty so much, he trusted him. He knew He longer than Whitty did, yet Bf apparently didn't trust him enough to tell him about his and Gf's breakup. Pico tried to ignore those thoughts. Bf, wherever he was, needed him. It wasn't time to be bitter. "Wish we could've met under better circumstances." Pico muttered, Whitty nodded. "Yeah."

Hex then decided to interject their conversation. "Hey Whitty, are we close to where you last saw Boyfriend?" The robot asked suddenly, startling Pico. For a second, he actually forgot the robot was there. 'Oh yeah.. We've been walking for a little while now.' Pico realized that he had lost track of where they were. "Yeah, sorry. It's just around this next corner, we're almost there." Whitty instructed. "Ok!" Hex replied. Pico nodded, observing their surroundings. This part of the neighborhood was… odd. It didn't seem quite as old as the rest of this beaten-down area. It seemed more… recently abandoned. The buildings, though still a mess, seemed more modern in comparison. Like at some point, this was a nice neighborhood, possibly even upper class at one point. 

The trio turned right at the faded crosswalk, about three buildings down the street, they stopped. Whitty turned to face Pico and Hex. "This is where I last saw him. I tried to talk to him but he ran off and I lost track of him." Pico looked at the rundown building they were in front of. Unlike the other buildings in the area, it didn't seem that old. What surprised him though, was the obvious damage. It looked like the building caught fire at some point. The windows looked like they were shattered from the inside. Pico looked through them, he could see the remains of what appeared to be a restaurant. Broken and burned tables, shattered plates and collapsed support beams were all over the place. He could see the remains of broken speakers towards the back of the dining room, close to what was probably a bathroom. Pico took a few steps back and tried to read what was left of the restaurant's sign. Then it clicked.

 He had heard of this place, about a year ago it was on the news because some lunatic blew up the place in the middle of a rap battle. He remembered seeing Boyfriend and Girlfriend escaping the smoldering wreckage on the news. He called them as soon as he saw it and let them stay at his house that night to comfort them. He could vividly remember the look on Girlfriend's face when they watched the aftermath on the news. Complete and utter terror. He had never seen her more scared in his life. Apparently the arsonist was never caught, for some reason. Pico never understood that. It was a restaurant full of people, surely somebody would have seen where he went, right? The thought made Pico uneasy. Why would B come anywhere near this place after that?

"Yo, Pico. You listening?" Whitty's voice suddenly pulled him out of his thoughts. He wondered how long he was zoning out for. "Sorry I- I just got lost in thought. What were you saying?" Pico felt bad. He was supposed to be looking for his missing friend, not zoning out. Pico mentally chastised himself for it before focusing on Whitty again. "I don't know where he went from here, but I don't think he left this side of town." Pico nodded, then looked up at Hex, his monitor was processing something. Pico guessed he was thinking up a plan. Then the monitor showed a map. "Maybe we should split up into different areas" the robot started, his now map that was once his face highlighted three different areas in the neighborhood. "After each of us surveys their area we can check in with each other over the phone." Hex offered. Pico, though he appreciated the thought, didn't really like the idea of the three of them splitting up in a neighborhood like this. Sure, he could take care of himself. Hell, he was an assassin for fucks sake. But even he knew he wasn't invincible. He was vulnerable. Especially in an area he wasn't familiar with. Before he could politely object though, Whitty commented on the plan. "Sorry Hex, that's a no go. This place ain't a good area. If we split, we could get ambushed." Pico was relieved that Whitty agreed with him. "If there were more of us, then we could split up into teams. But it's just too risky to do as is." Pico added, making his stance on the situation known. Hex sighed (or at least did the robot equivalent of sighing), his arms dropped and his now disappointed face appeared on the monitor's screen again. "Ok… this is far less efficient though." Hex replied, defeated. Pico gave him a comforting pat on the arm. "We appreciate the thought, Hex." Pico said, hoping it would appease the mechanical man. Hex smiled and let it go. "Where should we start looking?" Hex asked the group. Pico couldn't help but eye the burnt restaurant. "Let's check in here first." Whitty and Hex both looked at Pico quizzically, but shrugged it off and agreed. 

Pico attempted to open the front doors, but they wouldn't give, the restaurant's double doors were stuck shut. Pico was about to slam into it when he was stopped by a large hand. Slightly startled, he realized it was Whitty who lightly grabbed him. The bomb man gently moved Pico away from the door."I got it." Was all he said before he gripped one of the door's handles and yanked the whole door off its hinges. Wood splinters flew everywhere as the door cracked and broke.  Whitty tossed the door aside with one arm. Pico's jaw almost dropped. 'Holy shit. Either that door was weak or he's strong as hell!' Pico was tempted to comment on it but didn't want to come across as rude so all he did was thank Whitty. Hex on the other hand clapped his metallic claw hands, the metal making numerous "ting" sounds. "Great job Whitty!" Hex exclaimed before walking through the now open doorway. Whitty rubbed the back of his head, seeming a little embarrassed. Pico noticed Whitty's cheeks were slightly glowing orange. Was that how he blushed? "Err.. Thanks. It's nothing." Whitty had to lean down in order to fit through the doorway, Pico walked in after him. 

The three of them spread out a bit to investigate the remains of the restaurant. Pico honestly thought it was depressing to look at. This had once been a peaceful place to take your loved ones to and enjoy food. Now it was just a husk of its former glory. An ashy, decrepit ruin. After a few minutes, they found nothing and decided to leave. Pico felt bad for wasting time in this old building, but he was glad the others were still willing to help. The trio decided to keep looking around the neighborhood, continuing their search for Boyfriend.

…

Hours. They had been searching for hours, and there was still no sign of Boyfriend anywhere. Pico felt his legs getting sore. He hadn't walked so much without stopping in a long time. Hex seemed unfazed, but maybe that was because robots couldn't get sore muscles. Whitty seemed a little tired, but didn't show signs of really slowing down. Pico really wanted to just power through it and be helpful, but his legs were in agony. He needed to sit down. It didn't help that it was past noon and he hadn't eaten much that day. "Hey guys. I need to sit down for a bit, my legs are killing me." Pico admitted, hopong the others would be cool about it. "Okay, let's take a break. We've been doing this all day." Whitty agreed. Hex noticed a bench in the distance. "Why don't you rest over there?" The robot offered, and the other boys agreed. The bench was a bit tall, Pico had to hop on to it. Whitty on the other hand had no such trouble, being the vertically-blessed giant he was. Pico was a little jealous. Pico let out a sigh. "Where the hell is that blue-haired dumbass?" Pico asked rhetorically, he was getting frustrated with this. He was worried, tired, and felt lost. He thought he knew Bf well, but he didn't know him well enough to predict this. "I wish I knew." Whitty added, sounding worried as well. Pico was thinking about what to say when his stomach growled loudly. 

"Hungry, huh?" Whitty chuckled. "Fuck yes, I'm starving." Pico replied. "You know what? I'm gonna get lunch. You hungry?" Pico asked, standing up despite his legs begging him not to. "I'm always hungry, sure." Whitty chuckled again. "I'm never hungry!" Hex happily chirped. That time Pico chuckled. "Well, you could still come with us, even if you don't eat anything." Pico offered. "Thank you friend!" Hex smiled. "Cool." Pico gave a thumbs up. "So… where are we going?" Whitty asked, tilting his head a bit. He stood up, ready to follow Pico. "First to my car. Then I'll drive us to a restaurant or something." Pico explained, beginning to walk towards said vehicle. "Just a heads up, I parked a bit far, but it should only take, like, 20 minutes to get there." Pico warned, knowing the others (or at least Whitty) were tired as well. "No problem friend! Lead the way!" Hex declared enthusiastically. Whitty just shrugged and said "We've been walking for hours, 's not like 20 minutes will kill us." And just like that, they were off.

…

Pico, as promised, drove the three of them to a small diner that wasn't too far away. It was thankfully in a nicer neighborhood. The three sat together at a booth table near the back. Hex had powered off to regain some energy. More or less leaving Whitty and Pico alone.

 "Hey, lunch is on me, k?" Pico stated. He had been paid generously on his last job, so he wasn't worried about meal prices. Whitty seemed caught off guard. "Uh, y-you don't have to do that-" "I insist." Pico bluntly interjected. Whitty again, tried to decline. "I shouldn't- you don't need to do that, really." Whitty stammered a bit. Pico doubled down on it. "I'm not budging on this man." Whitty tilted his head to the side curiously, but still seemed slightly flustered. "Why are you so persistent in paying for both of us?" Whitty asked. Pico shrugged. "I just want to thank you for all your help today. I've been stressed out trying to figure out where B is and I really appreciate you helping us out." Pico said earnestly, he was still really worried about Boyfriend. "I.. You're welcome. I'm not gonna lie, I care about him, and I'm worried for the guy. Last time I saw him, he seemed off." Whitty confessed, rubbing the back of his head. Pico's curiosity piqued a bit. "Off? In what wa-" ''Hello boys! Can I get you something to drink?" Pico was suddenly interrupted by their waitress.  "Oh. Right. We should probably order something haha." Pico joked, chuckling a bit. "I'll take a Coke. What about you Whitty?" Pico asked, gesturing towards the taller male. "I'd just like water, please." Whitty replied, the waitress wrote their drink orders. "Okay. Are you ready to order your meals as well?" She asked sweetly. "I think we need a few minutes." Admitted Pico. "Okay, I'll give you some time to think about it and will be back with your drinks in a bit, okay?" Whitty and Pico politely thanked her and looked at their menus. 

"What're you thinking of ordering?" Pico asked, he wondered what kind of food Whitty enjoyed. "I don't know. I'm still surprised that you're paying for both of us." Whitty responded unsurely. "It's all good man. I got it" Pico gave a reassuring smile. "I just want to warn you that I eat a LOT. I'm not exactly cheap to feed." Whitty warned, embarrassed. Pico chuckled, "I'm not exactly peckish, either." "I really mean it, Pico. I eat more than humans do." Whitty once again gave a disclaimer to Pico. "And I really mean it when I say I'll cover it. Just get what you want." Pico stated adamantly. 

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"..."

"..." 

"Are you sure?"

"Whitty if you ask me that again I'm gonna smack the shit out of you."

(To be continued…)

(I wanted to write more but this is long so I'm gonna break it into two chapters. The next one is gonna have more angst so I wanted to end this one on a bit of a lighter note

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

16. Play.

Noticing the power shift created by Joey’s new form and role in his story, the Ink demon, the Prophet, and the now much more lucid searchers are interested in playing a few games with their old pals Henry and Joey. (Or not very interested, in the prophet and searchers’ cases) (Set in the AU where by yeeting Joey into the ink machine before going through the portal-door in the kitchen, Henry is accompanied by a chatty, useless, and overall insufferable little imp.)

The novelty of Joey accompanying him as a friendly, (Henry used that term loosely considering what he knew now.) tiny, cartoon demon wore off the second the story actually kicked into play. For starters, the former animator knew that whether either of them liked it or not, Joey was going to be clinging to him whenever he felt like it and following him like a lost puppy.

At the moment, the imp was running ahead of the animator, tapping his feet impatiently as he ‘waited’ for the old man to catch up before scurrying off again and occasionally tripping, but Henry knew that by the time the Ink Demon came into play, the little devil would use him as a meat shield.

 Speaking of the two devils, Henry approached the freshly boarded up ink machine room which Joey was already peering into with an uneasy expression on his pale face. The animator also peered into the room, but instead of being greeted by the Ink Demon popping out of the hole and starting the chase, he watched the Ink demon pace about the small room with an expression he’d never seen on it before: a grimace.

In addition to the demon’s seemingly much more expressive face, he seemed to have a different approach to his role as a villain now that he had no script from Joey to follow; a villain who was much more dangerous than a smart animal.

“SAMMY! JACK! JOHNNY!”

The Ink Demon shouted and called up three figures of ink.

“Alright, now listen up you three good-for-nothing, sewer-water-brained Lackeys, the creators will be here ANY second now, and if I find out YOU STUPID INK BLOTS let them get away, I’m gonna wring your necks out like wet towels! Do I make myself clear?!”

“Yes, your vileness.” The swollen searcher with a bowler hat replied in a tired sounding tone.

“Clear as day, your assholiness.” The Prophet added, sounding like more of a smartass than he had ever been when he was alive.

“Y-yes… Lord Ink Demon… We’ll take good care of them all right! W-well not good, but- EEEP!” a third searcher that appeared to have teeth made out of piano keys meekly stuttered and hid from the Ink Demon’s untrusting glare from behind the safety of the Prophet’s legs.

“Good! Now listen up: they’ve started up our machine already so we don’t have much time to plan: So what do we do to stop them?”

“Uh... ...Same thing as always?”

“W-well… I’m sure that you’ll have the best plan out of all of us, your rottenness!”

“You can stick your hand out of the holes in the boards and watch them run and fall to their doom like a pair of stray sheep who don’t see the cliff.”

“NO! When Joey’s not in control, I’m calling the shots around here! And I say: We’re not going to run his stupid story through the machine any more! We’re doing something completely different, something that will really make ‘em suffer...”

“Henry!” Joey tugged on the man’s pant leg and whispered loud enough for him to hear, but not loud enough to grab the ink monsters’ attention. “He can think and talk! He’s not supposed to do that! Hell, aside from Sammy, none of them are supposed to be any smarter than feral animals! Not to mention, they all look different… I think that stuff on Sammy is supposed to be hair, but it’s never been THAT long before...”

The Ink Demon slapped his forehead and grumbled under his breath.

“Speak of the %*#@ing devils…” He then stared expectantly at the confused trio of searchers. “WELL?! THEY’RE HERE; RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR! ARE YOU GONNA MAUL ‘EM OR ARE YOU JUST GONNA SIT AROUND WAITING FOR THE COCKROACHES IN YOUR HEADS TO CHEW UP THE GARBAGE YOU CALL BRAINS FIRST?!”

“Why not take the pleasure in offing them yourself, your dicklessness?”

“Uh, Yeah, and when you fail at that, we’ll set up traps for ‘em downstairs. It’s not like they’re gonna escape the studio.”

The searcher with piano key teeth sheepishly nodded along.

“What?! But I had this cool dramatic entrance planned out and everything- ARGH! FINE!” The Ink Demon grumbled as he started breaking the boards. “If you want a mauling done right...”

Henry held Joey like a football as he ran through the rapidly flooding studio as the Ink Demon cackled manically throughout the chase.

“READY OR NOT HEEREEE I COOOOMEEEE~”

Henry found himself having to jump and duck to avoid a lot more falling debris and had felt the demon’s claws at his back at times, the situation was not helped by Joey screaming and crying the entire time.

He felt more dread than relief as he saw the exit coming in, no matter how close it got, he never got to it, like every time before, the floorboards broke underneath his feet. He always fell, and now, someone would try to catch him.

“HA! NOT WHEN I’M IN CHARGE, CREATOR!”

And would succeed.

It happened so fast that Joey couldn’t tell if he did it intentionally or not, but he had slipped out of Henry’s grip and had fallen down to the depths of the studio with a loud ‘splash’ announcing his arrival.

Announcing that he was alone, defenseless, and weak. In a studio that Joey now knew no longer was his to control, and was filled with many, many enemies who would fully take advantage of that.

“Y-you just need to stay c-calm, Joey...” He pulled himself up on a floating piece of stray wood and started paddling towards the valve. “There’s an ax nearby, all you need to do is get to it and you’ll be fine. you’ve seen Henry do this hundreds of times, you’ll be alright, you just need to believe in yourself.”

In spite of his reassuring speech, the scared little imp felt a large pit of dread in his gut. The former Music director, former lyricist, and the former organist would probably hesitate if it was Henry instead, but those three caught him... Joey shuddered just thinking about it. 

As the ink drained he took his miraculously unstained bath robe off of the floor and put it back on. He was also missing his pants now, but it wasn’t like he could go back up to get them, and even if he could, he wasn’t going to fight the Ink Demon for a pair of fucking pants that were too big for him anyway.

“Get the ax, get back with Henry, get the ax, get back with Henry, get the ax, get back with Henry...”

He repeated to himself under his breath as he repeated his task of descending and turning valves as an attempt to keep himself from jumping at every twist and turn. The imp also kept his eyes peeled for anything that looked suspicious or out of place, fearing the looming threat of the searchers’ traps.

The ax and the room was exactly how Joey had left it, not a single thing changed, which did make him feel relieved.

When he moved forward, he didn’t find any evidence that Sammy was worshiping Bendy at all when in the shrine room, there were plenty of ritualistic circles, plenty of cryptic messages, but they all had the little devil as a thing that was meant to be sacrificed, not as something worth the former musician’s worship.

“Of all the runs for Sammy to not worship Bendy...” He groaned. “It HAD to be the one where I became an imp...”

He wasn’t sure whether he was grateful or even more afraid when he didn’t see Sammy moving the cutout around.

------

When Joey got to the music department itself, he heard the sounds of laughter, pool balls clacking, cheers and glasses clinking in the distance. Following the sounds, he found the three searchers lounging around the pool table in the middle of a conversation and a game.

The upbeat atmosphere fizzled out when the three noticed him. The Swollen searcher muttered something about the game just getting good, the Piano key-toothed searcher groaned about Joey spoiling all the fun as usual, and the masked mad maestro smiled at him.

Not in a sarcastic or forced way like how his human self smiled at people, it seemed genuine enough. But it also wasn’t a warm or kind smile, it seemed more ...hungry.

“Hello little Lamb.” The prophet stood up and got into the imp’s face,  “Are you interested in playing a game with us?”

‘Oh fuck, he’s still crazy.’ Joey thought to himself. “N-no thanks!” He smiled and waved hoping that he didn’t look as terrified as he felt. “I’ve got a friend of mine to get back to and I really don’t have a lot of time to play.”

The imp dashed out of the break room and slammed the door shut behind him, completely unaware that the merriment had returned to the room.

“Thank god he didn’t go for it.” Johnny sighed. “If The Ink Demon found out about this room because of that little runt...”

“I told you it would work.” The prophet took the mask back off and set it aside on a crate. “...But he’ll probably come back to pester us into trying to help him find Henry, maybe even take up the game offer.”

“Yeah...” Jack poured himself another shot. “Kinda surprised that you didn’t jump at the chance to make his life hell though.”

“Less is more.” The prophet hit the eight ball and watched the rest of them knock against each other. “If you get one big punch left to linger, it hurts like a bitch, if you get hundreds of them, you grow numb to the pain. But I don’t think that Inky understands that.”

“Well, at least he can have fun playing his game of cat and mouse with Joey...”

“Yeah.” Johnny raised his glass. “Cheers to those two being each others’ problems instead of ours!”

“Cheers!”

[hopelessly-me]

I wish you would write a fic where Clint is extremely competent in a surprising skill (and seduces [your choice] in spite of it, because of it, or with it).

Hi anon! =) This skill may not be overly surprising, at least it wasn’t to me, but it was to Bucky. I hope you enjoy. (word count 1472)

In his defense, Bucky did not purposely break things in his home- he had just bought a rundown condo that needed a lot of repairs that he kinda knew about when he bought it but hadn’t thought much of it because he had gone with the idea that maybe it wouldn’t happen right away. He had been wrong. So very wrong. Ever since he bought the space, it seemed like every week something was happening and Bucky just- he didn’t have the energy to deal with it. Hydra never deemed home repairs to be a necessary skill for their assassin, so Bucky hadn’t even learned the basics, but he was trying.

But… the try part took a back seat the first time Steve had suggested that he call Clint. Bucky grumbled about it- he was used to watching Clint do all sorts of things the wrong way. When you work with a guy that leaps out of buildings like it’s a fun game to chance, you kind of assume that person’s an idiot. A skilled idiot, sure, but an idiot. And how many times had Bucky watched Clint fumble his way through competency testing at SHIELD? Or the time he got smacked in the face, not once, but twice, by a robot he was supposed to be dodging? Bucky hadn’t bought the lack of caffeine mumbling, and blamed it on the fact that Clint Barton was 100% a disaster.

But Steve swore Clint was the guy to call for help so he did. It was better to have someone he knew in his space instead of calling and asking for the name of a repair man so he could do a background check two weeks deep before his dishwasher could be fixed. Within an hour Clint had shown up at Bucky’s condo, carrying a duffle bag with him. After a short greeting, Clint went to the kitchen and went to work. 

And honestly- it was something. That extreme focus he got on missions was the same as when he worked on anything. Dishwasher, ceiling fan, the bathroom when the plumbing seemed to be a problem. Anything Bucky called him about, Clint seemed to know exactly what he was doing. If it was an easier fix, Bucky and Clint would chat about whatever came up, and usually Clint was the one who started it. If it was harder, Bucky stood off to the side in case he needed help with something but otherwise he watched him work and wonder just how Clint got good at all of this.

But this? This was almost too much. Bucky was seated and watching Clint as he worked on the electrical in the laundry room. He had started by checking the obvious things first, the plug, the outlet, the cords in the room. With a sigh he asked if he could take down the wall because he was positive that it was something in the back, likely a short wire. Without any reluctance, Bucky agreed, and Clint went to work. Now he was standing on a step ladder, working on something above his head, his shirt riding up, or his pants riding low, Bucky couldn’t tell and he didn’t care. All he cared about was the fact that Clint’s arms were in motion, which had always been hypnotizing enough, but now he got to see abs and he wasn’t sure he was going to make it through this session.

“You should let me just tear this place apart and start new,” Clint commented.

“What?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah. I mean. You can afford it, we both know it,” Clint answered, shoving some line through a hole he had made to where the breaker was, a new wire he had to attach him. “This place is really outdated with the electrical and the plumbing. Nothing that will start a fire yet but… I know how to do the fixes this place needs. I can run it cheaper than other renovators. And what I don’t know I can figure out with some books and youtube videos. I mean, it’s how I learned most of this stuff anyway.”

“How… long would something like that take?” Bucky asked, because if that meant more time with Clint like this he was pretty sure he was ready to sign up.

Clint looked over and flashed him one of his bright and snarky smiles. “Tired of hanging out with me already?” he asked, teasing before he looked back at his work.

“No. But if you do all that work, I’m going to have to pay you,” Bucky pointed out.

“Uh- no? I mean, I can’t always be here working on it, but I can plan on doing the hard stuff for a few days in a row that way if I have to leave for a mission you have a mostly functional space, just a little torn up.” Clint stepped down from the ladder and walked over to his tool bag, digging through it before pulling out a tag and a pen, writing on it. “But you don’t have to pay me.”

“What about… in pizza and coffee?” 

Clint looked up from the tag and grinned. “The way into my heart,” he replied before he turned and climbed back onto the ladder, back to his abs showing and yeah, it was definitely the shirt riding up Bucky decided. “Just think about it, alright? It would take me a couple of weeks, but I can get this place in tiptop shape so you aren’t having one emergency after another.”

“Maybe I like having the emergencies,” Bucky said before he could give it much thought. 

The moment the words processed in his head, alarms started to sound. It was toeing the line of flirting, or maybe possibly suggesting that he liked having Clint around, and maybe more. Clint wasn’t exactly stupid, he could see through Bucky’s game right? But he was also oblivious, so maybe he hadn’t.

This time, Clint paused and looked over questioningly. Bucky put on his confident smile, the one he had learned back when he was a kid, back when he knew he could fake his confidence with the right look. The problem was- Clint had that annoying ability to read people and see through the masks. The problem was, Bucky was sure Clint could see through this one.

And then he smiled that bright smile, and chuckled before he looked back at his work, muttering something inaudible under his breath. Whether he saw through it or not was lost on Bucky now since Clint hadn’t made a comment. But something was there in that look, Bucky could swear he saw… was it hope? Shyness? A bit of awkwardness? Maybe it was Bucky putting his feelings into the situation, but he thought maybe it was a dare- almost begging him to say something more.

Bucky was frozen for a moment, watching as Clint hopped off the ladder and moved to where the electrical outlet was, whistling as he worked. He watched the way his body swayed a little to whatever song it was being whistled into existence, and wanted to move closer to watch as his fingers worked carefully at securing the wire in it’s spot. He wanted to know if he was right that Clint was just daring him to take it a step further while being terrified to learn the results.

“Fuck it,” Bucky said as he got up.

“Fuck what?” Clint asked innocently.

Bucky had taken a few steps by the time Clint had turned around. Bucky got into his space, bracing his hands on the wall on either side of Clint, and kissed him, surprised when it was reciprocated. But it was short lived before Clint leaned away, raising an eyebrow, his lips pulling up into a smile that he would get before he would start laughing.

“What?” Bucky asked.

“Screw.”

“What?”

“I made a funny joke in my head about being screwed,” Clint said, holding up his screwdriver. “And then I dropped the screw for the outlet panel and I can’t-”

“... you are fucking kidding, right?” Clint let out that laugh and shook his head, his whole face lighting up as it scrunched. For a moment, Bucky thought about punching him. But that joy on Clint’s face made the thought fizzle out and he couldn’t help but feel fondly exasperated. “You’re the worst,” he said, unable to hold back his smile when Clint’s eyes opened and locked onto his.

“I am,” Clint confirmed. “We can maybe try it again after you buy me pizza?”

Bucky nodded slowly. “Maybe after pizza,” he agreed. “And you grab that screw.”

“That’s after the third date,” Clint replied with a wink, laughing even louder than before when Bucky’s face heated up. “You are so going to regret you kissed me.”

“Challenge accepted.”

[dzamie-oc]

04 - Stained Glass

Bright "Dork" Penny is actually from a few /tg/ threads in late 2018, in which we had the fun idea of an adorkable dragon, and steadily built a town around her. This is from pretty early in her introduction to the town, before most of the suggested campaign plot hooks.

Length: 2100 words Rating: E (though contains brief mentions of violence) Summary: A dragon is enamored by a stained-glass window, and wants some of her own.

-----

Clearwater was a fairly average port town; according to the fishermen, it was even idyllic. When the wind blew just right, the smell of fresh fish and bread filled several streets. When it blew just wrong, of course, the farms managed to be perfectly upwind, but such were the risks. It was situated on the coast of the Great Crystal Lake, a veritable sea full of water so fair it sparkled like an enormous, polished sapphire when the sun found a good angle. In years past, several traveling poets had said of Clearwater, “it was exactly the sort of town an epic tale would begin in, only to have an unfortunate encounter with a dragon to start things off.”

And, well, they weren’t exactly wrong. But neither were they right.

The morning sun fell on the town, and in particular an old barn kept apart from the rest of the farmed plots of land. The front of the building was missing, and for several reasons, never replaced. One such reason poked her red, scaly head out into the outside air, with the rest of her soon to follow. Dorakathen Azurakluzzelenark Nur Zulauknagh, or “Bright Penny,” looked around, noted that someone had dug up her latest attempt at planting a sheep again, and gave her wings a nice, big stretch and flap. A soft groan from within the barn caught her attention, so she turned around to face the slowly-rousing woman within.

“Oh, Gwendolyn, did I wake you? I guess it is kinda early, still.”

The young woman sat up and waved her off. “No, no,” she said, “I’m used to being up with the sun. Do dragons usually sleep later?”

“Well... I do. My mother would always head out before the sun rose, said something about making sure she’s back before humans usually tried to steal from her.” The dragoness drew in and let out a big breath, taking care to keep the fire out of it, this time. “I never knew what she meant by that. You guys are pretty friendly, and with how often the ones around her lair seemed to gift her their old, claw-marked armors, I can’t imagine any human trying to take something from her lair.”

Gwendolyn thought for a few seconds on that, opened her mouth to speak, thought better of it, and instead asked, “so, Dork, how long is this happening, again?”

Bright Penny’s mouth curled into a smile. “Oh, the kidnapping? Just a week, same as how Mom would do it.”

“The, uh, the same?” the human said, paling. While the young dragoness seemed friendly, if a bit misguided and, well, inexperienced, her mother, Bloodstained Ruby, was an entirely separate matter. If any tale of life under her claw managed to escape her grasp, it was always one of terror and bloodshed. Her lair was filled with glittering, shining treasures and adorned with colored glass as red as her scales, all gained through pillaging, extortion, or both. While nobody knew for sure, any fool would guess that, if a ransom wasn’t paid, the hostage would serve as the main course for her dinner. Gwendolyn’s mouth went dry as she looked at the cheerful dragoness with her sharp claws and sharper fangs. “How... how would Bloody Ruby...?”

The red dragon sat back on her haunches and put a paw to her chin. “Well, sometimes humans would visit her with a big pile of gold and stuff for her hoard - and now that I’ve seen how much you guys usually have on yourselves, they must’ve really liked her! - and she’d go get her kidnap-ee, and then the humans would all leave together and Mom would have a nice smile for a while. Um, and then other times, humans wouldn’t come, or they would but I guess they weren’t the ones the kidnapped human knew, because Mom would shoo them away, or claw them if they went crazy and tried to stab her. I always thought that was too strict, since her claws are half the length of their bodies while their swords were pretty small to her.”

Gwendolyn glanced around the barn, looking for an exit that the dragon would have trouble following her through. “And, what about the kidnapped human after a week of... no visitors?”

“Oh, she’d ask whether they’d like to leave or get eaten - I guess she didn’t really have patience for long-term visitors, especially seeing as how she kinda did technically kick me out of her lair eventually.” She furrowed her brow. “It was weird, though, humans could definitely go up and down that mountain, but they always seemed to get eaten. ...is that a human thing? Because I don’t think I’m up for it with you. I hope that’s not rude.”

The woman’s brain fizzled for a moment. “Um... okay, I’ll... we’ll talk later, but as long as leaving after a week is one of those options, I’m fine.”

“Of course!” The dragon nodded vigorously, then got to her feet again and made her way out of the barn before looking back. “I’m gonna go see around the town for a while. I know I don’t really have all the actual kidnapping stuff like a fancy dress for you and a pole to lean against, but I’m trying my hardest, so please don’t escape?”

Bright Penny took a few steps away, then froze, spun, and stuck her head back under the barn roof. “I mean, unless it’s an emergency, of course.”

Her fears momentarily assuaged, Gwendolyn let out a laugh. “Of course. Have fun, Dork, I’ll be right here when you get back.”

“Great! Okay, see you, Gwen!” Bright Penny trotted away - this time, without turning back - and wasn’t able to see Gwendolyn put her head in her hands, trying to process what the dragon had oh-so casually said about her mother. Instead, the dragoness hummed a wandering tune and let her feet carry her to a rather interesting-looking building.

As she approached, she was drawn to the beautiful stained-glass windows in each wall. One showed a sheaf of wheat, its opposite showed a few fish hanging by lines, and the third had a woman in a plain dress, holding a sickle in one hand and a net in the other. Bright Penny circled the building a couple of times, then took a seat in front of the fish one and stared at it, admiring the way the sun pierced through the glass, giving a strange sort of energy to the art. She moved her head back and forth, playing with her shadow on the glass.

After a few minutes, a man exited the door on the unadorned side, and peeked around the corner. “Uh, excuse me, dragon? You’re the one who’s been staying at Brown’s old barn, right?”

Bright Penny turned towards the voice, looked around for a couple of seconds, then smiled when she saw the face. “Yes, that’s me. I’m Dorakathen Azurakluzzelenark Nur Zulauknagh, nice to meet you.”

“Dora Kathen Ashoora... er, pardon me.”

“Oh! Sorry, I’m still not used to being around people who don’t speak Draconic. It means Bright Penny, but some helpful adventurers said I could be called Dork for short!”

The man looked unconvinced, but slowly stepped out from behind “cover.” He was dressed similar to many of the Clearwater residents Bright Penny had seen, though his body was less toned or worn, so she guessed he did something that didn’t require much heavy lifting. “Well, Dorakathe- uh, Dork, what brings you to our town’s temple?”

“I just thought, if I’m going to go about figuring out how to be a proper dragon, I should know more about the town I’ll be- what was that word Mom used? Not terrorizing, uh... monitoring?” She shook her head. “Anyway, I kinda got distracted, and seeing these really pretty jewels made me remember that a dragon should have a hoard, and I don’t. So, may I please have one of these?”

One helpful thing about outlandish requests is that they are superb at making one forget that the one who asked was a dragon. As a prime example, the man replied, “what? No, they’ve been part of this temple for generations,” before his brain finally caught up to the rest of her words, so he quickly added, “uh, t-terrorizing? Where does your mom do that?”

“I’m pretty good with my claws; I’m sure I could help patch up the hole,” the red dragon cheerfully replied, then caught herself. “Oh, you mean ‘part of’ as in ownership. That’s alright, then. Where can I get one, then? ...also, what’s your name? I don’t remember if you said.”

“Abraham, I’m sort of this place’s priest. I’m not sure where you’d get something that big or intricate - again, it’s been generations - but you could ask the smithy. I know he can do regular windows.” Abraham said, then took a step back. “Also, what was that thing about terrorizing?”

“Oh, yeah, my mom’s Bloodstained Ruby. I think she’s just dramatic with that, though; it’s hard to believe she causes terror, with how many presents people keep giving her. Kept. But she probably still gets them after kicking me out, too.” With a destination in mind, Bright Penny unfurled her wings and crouched, preparing to take off. “I’ll go check the smithy out, then. Thanks, Abe!”

The words “Bloodstained Ruby” and “mom” were still sinking into Abraham’s head while he watched her go. He fell back against the temple wall, breathing heavily, then ran inside to begin praying to more gods than usual.

A peaceful stroll down an empty street and one abandoned-and-therefore-free fish later, and Dork found herself at her destination. Luckily for her, a red, fire-breathing dragon was not enough to scare away the blacksmith, who insisted that he’d weathered a lot worse - and she agreed, seeing as she was going to be pretty good at dragon things and therefore easy to be worse than. Although initially dismayed that she had nothing to pay for glass with, her enthusiasm soon swayed him to teach her how to make some, herself.

“Look, I’m sure it’ll wear down eventually, and until then, having a solid boulder of glass IN the beach is a bit of a novelty,” he said, “but I must admit, that may have been the most effective way I’ve ever seen to teach someone to make sure molten glass should only exist in something that can hold it.”

Bright Penny nodded and tried again, breathing fire around a large, metal cup filled with sand. Once its contents got nice and soft, she carefully dumped it into a mold she’d carried from his workshop. It was slow to spread out, so she reached out...

“No! Don’t!” the blacksmith shouted in a panic. When she looked at him, worried, he remembered that she wasn’t just another foolish human apprentice, but rather a foolish dragon. Waving his hand, he said, “nah, you’re fine. I’d burn myself doing that, is all.”

As they waited for it to cool, the dragoness looked down at her shadow, then up to the sky. “Oh! I’ve been out awhile, I should head home soon, after a quick stop by the bakery for Gwendolyn.”

“Gwen? The baker’s daughter? Whatever for?” A tough old smith like him, he could see hanging out with a dragon. But Gwendolyn? She was closer to a proper lady - in her mannerisms, if not by her upbringing and hobbies - than near anyone else in the town. “Also, take yer glass. It’s still hot, so don’t go touching it to anything, but it oughta keep its shape, or near abouts. Wouldn’t use it for a window, but it’ll look fine.”

“Oh, I kidnapped her, so her dad’s helping me make sure she can eat right.” The dragoness lets out a rumbling laugh. “You should’ve seen her reaction to him cutting shapes into her sandwich.”

In his mind, the blacksmith went over the locations of several swords, spears, and other weaponry that might prove useful in a rescue. “Kidnapped, eh?”

“Well, I did ask her first. Then I made sure to carry her and fly away, so I’m pretty sure it still counts as a real dragon kidnapping.” Bright Penny picked up her glass in one scaly paw and looked at it. “By the way, how do I get it to be all colored like the temple has?”

The man put his weapon-finding thoughts on hold until after he talks to the baker. “Hm. Well, tell you what. I’m busy tomorrow, but come by the day after and I’ll show you.” Either way, that would give him time to organize a few good men if need be. “I’ll get the mold back, myself.”

“Okay! Thanks so much for the help. My hoard’s gonna be so pretty...” With a leap and flap of her wings, Bright Penny was airborne again, thoughts of stained-glass dragons in her mind.